


UNFINISHED Maria Hill

by Tanark



Series: Kolta [8]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Apparently they bang like every two sections, Bad OC I'll just come out and say it, Even the spacing I swear, F/F, Fun times tho, Inconsistent Writing, Never to Be Completed, Sorta vignettes?, Written over too many years
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-17
Updated: 2019-09-17
Packaged: 2020-10-20 19:21:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 25,901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20680598
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tanark/pseuds/Tanark
Summary: An imagining of life for Maria Hill that loosely follows the Avengers/SHIELD timeline. I did too much with this and spread it too thin. At this point I'm just making minor structure edits for the sake of readability and posting what was written.





	UNFINISHED Maria Hill

**Author's Note:**

> I began writing this in 2016 and just could not  
I couldn't  
And after coming back to this and getting to 25k, 30k, at one point almost 34k words, I knew I was never going to finish it because I got too ambitious too early and it just wasn't what I wanted it to be, it wasn't worth the time and effort to concentrate to re-write it  
The sections of space are areas I was planning to add more but didn't.  
If there was ever like two people who were interested in how I formatted things...wow look it's completely raw.  
Please try and get some enjoyment out of this.

\------------------------------

I toyed with my ring, spinning it around on the table. I didn't get many chances to wear it, what with my job being very hands-on. I normally wore it on a string around my neck. Maria normally wore hers to work, unless she knew of an upcoming mission that promised to be rough. 

I hated seeing her leave it on the counter when she left on the morning of those missions, but I knew it was logical. 

We had been married for almost 3 years now, making it 6 we had been together. The safe house was now our house. Well, it was more of a large apartment and it had been a SHIELD facility at one point, but…

It was ours. 

\------------------------------

We met through work. I had been assigned to help her after a raid let almost a dozen agents dead. I had been injured, but in my opinion it wasn't bad enough to put me off duty. It only took five minutes for Maria to dismiss me to medical. That hurt, at first, but I would thank her for it later. 

The bullet that went through my leg had torn through the edges of more muscles than originally thought. If not for her, my leg would be made of metal now. The limp isn't great, but I hardly ever have to wear a brace. 

It only took a few hours to patch me up, but by then most other agents had left for the day. Not Maria. She was struggling to repair some of the consoles in the lower conference room when I returned to help, crutch under one arm and toolbox under the other. 

She seemed surprised at first, but didn't comment. Maria kept working diligently as I slid under the bench opposite her and quickly opened an access panel. Due to my job dealing exclusively with SHIELD tech, I was done with my first terminal and onto another by the time she finished her own. 

After working in silence for almost two hours, however, she finally spoke up. 

“Agent Winders?”

“Yes ma'am.”

“Don't you want to go home? You have the right to take off, considering that you’re injured.”

I looked over at her, propped myself up on elbows, then gestured to the room around us.

“I didn’t really see an eager volunteers, ma’am, so...I just figured that my help wouldn’t be minded. I was assigned specifically to you, so...u-unless you want me to leave, Commander.”

Maria shook her head, sitting up and moving to stand.

“Actually, considering you know these things a lot better than I do, it’s a good idea to have you here. I’m going to start checking that systems are working. Hope you don’t mind rebooting the other terminals.”

**

I rubbed my hands across my face and slid out from under the desk, grimacing as my leg pulled on the carpet. I used a bench to haul myself up, but couldn’t help the gasp as my leg buckled under my weight. I all but collapsed against the desk and dropped my head against the flat surface, breathing heavily.

“Winders, what happened?”

“Nothing, Commander, just...my leg is being...difficult…”

I tried to push myself up and couldn't stop the gasp the broke out. The wound was just too raw for me to put my whole weight on. I fumbled for the crutch they gave me, but it slipped onto the floor. 

“Damn it,” I whispered, sitting back down on the bench. I heard a shuffle and looked up to see Commander Hill offering me my crutch. 

“Th-thank you,” I mumbled, taking the crutch and using it to heave myself up onto one leg. 

“Okay. Okay. This is...fine.”

I fumbled my way to the door, trying not to let my ears turn red with how inept I looked. 

“Don't push yourself, Winders. We need you to keep the newer officers sharp.”

“Will try, ma’am. Goodnight.”

\------------------------------

“Morning, Winders.”

“Good morning, Commander Hill.”

“Say, do you know of anything...going on after work hours? I mean, any plans in particular.”

I furrowed my brows. 

“Uhhhh...no ma'am? I-I don't have anything. I mean, assuming you're referring to the standard hours we share, then no. Last meetings are at 5 and even though I'm doing some inventory that shouldn't last past-”

“Okay. Just checking.”

“Right. Yes. Uh, did you...think there was an event scheduled for today? I could check again.”

“No, that's fine. Just wondering.”

With that, she turned and walked away. I watched for a moment before snapping back around, cheeks burning. It had been a month since my injury, and I had found it was becoming harder and harder for me to keep my eyes off of her.

_ No one saw you staring. Absolutely no one. _

**

I felt my desk shake and looked up to see Black Widow raising an eyebrow at me. 

“Um...do you need...something? Ma’am?”

“I'm doing you a favor. Look up there.” She pointed at the control booth and I squinted at it, seeing nothing out of the ordinary. 

“One of the people up there has been subtly hitting on you for three days straight and it's getting painful to watch.”

I did a double take. 

“Me? One of...hitting on me?”

I laughed, shaking my head. 

“You are so hopeless. I'll give you a hint, it's Commander Hill.”

I swallowed, looking opposite from Widow. 

“Oh, that got a _ good _ reaction. Does the interest go both ways?”

“Shut up,” I murmured. 

“Oh please. You think someone would overhear us if I didn't want them to? Look, you’re both stressed, single, and need to get laid. Just cut through the tension and fuck already. Maybe it'll become a regular thing.”

I slowly placed my head in my hands, ears burning. If someone else had noticed before me, surely...well, Widow was a super-spy. She was trained to notice things like this.

“Don't you have, like, spy things to do?”

“Well I'm sorry there’s no catastrophe at the moment. Look, if I’m gonna be wandering around this building for the next few weeks, I don’t want to pick my way through a mess of sexual tension. Grow a pair and ask her out.”

With that, she left. I stared at her retreating figure for a moment before turning back to my terminal, cracking my knuckles. I had to make up for time lost with my distractions.

**

“Agent Winders.”

“Ma’am?”

“I was wondering if you could do me a little favor. Off the record.”

I nodded, keeping my eyes glued to the computer as she perched on the edge of my desk. 

“Of course, ma’am.”

“I'm looking for a place to eat. Somewhere nice, thinking of treating...someone.”

I nodded my head again, pulling open the search. 

“Um, so what parameters do you want to...I mean, what do you want to exclude?”

“I don't know. What type of food do you think is good for a date?”

I bit my tongue, nervously tapping my foot. 

“Um, well...anything that's not super fancy or seafood, really. Or Szechuan food.”

“All right. Exclude those.”

I typed and considered changing to just the internet instead of our network search systems when I realized how still she was. This couldn't be good, it didn't really make sense to do any of this. Was I being tested or something?

“Um, ma’am…”

“Kolta?”

My ears burned. 

“Are you, uh…”

I pointed from the computer to her to myself. 

“Trying to ask...me…”

“_Knew _ there was a reason you had high security clearance. Good catch.”

I sighed, cupping my face in one hand and leaning against the desk. 

“You-you were trying to do that Tuesday, weren't you?”

“Yup.”

I groaned, covering my eyes with my free hand. 

“I am so sorry. I'm not normally this dense, it's just...uh, I wasn't really expecting…”

She shrugged. 

“Pick you up at 9?”

“Um...yes. That’s-yes. Do you need my address?”

“I'm your CO, Winders, I already have it.”

“Right.”

\------------------------------

I grinned shyly as Maria covered her mouth to muffle the laughter, head tilted back. 

“And he does that every day? Doesn't his partner notice?”

“Myers? Oh, you don’t want to know what Myers puts in his coffee, ma’am. It’s awful.” 

Maria chuckled along with me, then fixed me with an amused look.

“You do realize you don’t have to be formal with me here? We’re on a date, Kolta, not on a mission.”

I ducked my head, cheeks warming. 

“Well, I-it's a h-habit.”

Maria grinned and leaned forwards over the table, slipping into a serious expression. 

“While we’re talking about work…”

She sighed, glancing down at the table. 

“You know I had to have you looked into, right? Before I could do this?”

I smiled sadly. 

“I kinda figured. I mean, you can't be the...um...you can't have such a high position and not be careful, y’know?”

“I just…I want to be honest with you. Dating is...well, harder."

“I understand. Security precautions.”

"And I want to ensure you that I wouldn't-I understand I'm not your boss directly but I am technically in a position of power over you, and I swear I won't abuse that. This is separate from work."

"I...thank you. I believe you."

She nodded solemnly and I looked down for a minute before glancing back up. 

“Please tell me they didn't find my high school grades.”

Maria chuckled and shook her head. 

“No, but there were baby pictures.”

I groaned loudly, covering my eyes with a hand. 

**

There were a lot of things I learned about Maria that night. She was half a year older than me, but two inches shorter. The heels made her look taller than me, though. She had a sister, but didn't really talk to her mom, the only parent left. The DoD had been her goal when she first started college, but SHIELD had become her life. 

Most of my family details were in my file, and the gritty details that were left out weren't really first date material. As for me, she hadn't known about my study of language and near obsession with J-pop, something that I was happy to explain. 

It was...going better than I had anticipated. I had flushed and stammered and paused a few times, but nothing too embarrassing.

**

“Um, this-this is my car. So…”

I scratched the back of my head. I was really bad at ending dates. Walking me to my car had been nice of her, and I couldn't think of a good way to thank her without being awkward. 

We were in a darkened parking lot that was honestly a little foreboding. I wanted to leave quickly, but I also didn't want to be rude. 

“So I, um, do you...would you want to go on another date? Not now soon, m-maybe next week?”

“Winders.”

“Yes.”

“Shut up,” Maria said, and pushed me back against my car, connecting our mouths. 

I swear I felt my heart do a samba as her hands perched on my hips and I dropped my keys onto the pavement. She was-and I was also-and we were _ kissing _, I just couldn't really wrap my head around it. Maria turned her head slightly and I thanked the heavens that her hands were anchoring me to the ground. 

She pulled back and I took a deep breath in, still shocked. 

“Was that okay, Winders?”

“Ahm,” I mumbled, then shook my head. “I mean, yes, yes, very much, um...that was...very…” 

I gestured weakly, already turning red. A smirk split her face and she leaned back in. My heart skipped and restarted when she pressed a kiss to my cheek, then stepped back. 

“I need to leave before someone walks by or a camera shows up. You need to get home.”

“Yes. Home. Right.”

I patted my pockets and crouched down to grab my keys. My brain was still a little fried from our kiss. 

“I...see...I’ll, um, see you at-at work, tomorrow. Because we both...work there. Often.”

“Indeed, Winders. See you.”

\------------------------------

The first time she let me into the safe house, right after our fourth date, I didn't have a good chance to soak it the security measures. She warned me of the hall and door cameras, but once we got past the couch we were fine. 

After that, I was...busy. 

Her heels had given her a tiny height advantage and she was using it to make sure I was backed firmly against the door. Her hands were in my hair and I was fumbling for the handle as her teeth dug into my neck. 

“God, Maria…”

She suddenly paused and pulled back slightly, and my legs buckled a bit as I rebalanced. 

“Have you been tested recently?”

“...huh? O-oh. Yeah, yeah, clean, um...are…”

“Same.”

Maria reconnected our lips and I tried the door handle again. I stumbled as the door finally gave and she shoved me back. I crash-landed on the bed with a grunt and she pressed a hand on my stomach, straddling my waist. 

“Eager there, Commander Hill?” I taunted, watching her strip her heels off. 

My mouth went dry as she cocked her head and slowly pulled her shirt off, staring me down. 

“And you, _ Agent Winders_?” she responded, placing her hands on my shoulders and grinding down. I grabbed her waist on reflex and pulled her closer as she leaned down, going back to my neck. 

Hands slid under my shirt and I pushed myself up on my elbows, raising one arm at a time for her to pull my shirt off. A new flush of heat skittered up my spine as Maria broke off from my neck and pulled my shirt completely off, looking me over for a moment. I also had an undershirt on as our building was kept rather cold, so neither of us were quite exposed yet. I placed a hand on her forearm and she kissed me again, apparently intent on pushing me back down. 

_ Not yet_, I thought. 

I wrangled her undershirt up and off and immediately sat up, pressing kisses up her stomach to her chest. She pulled me back up to her lips as I reached for her bra clasp and turned us. She broke off and raised an eyebrow at me as her back hit the mattress, but didn't fight me. 

“Don’t tell me you’re hiding a dominant side under there, Winders.”

I flushed. Badly. 

“Well you didn’t seem to be getting things done,” I ventured. Her eyes narrowed and she pulled me down by the straps of my tank. 

“You gonna do something about that?”

She pulled again, not letting me respond as she rocked her hips up. We got into a slow rhythm of grinding as Maria pushed up, helping me slide her bra off. I didn't look yet, but kissed her. She 

I pushed my knee back and bore down, feeling the hands on me twitch in response. Maria groaned and grabbed my hips, pulling me closer. 

“Off,” she grunted, kicking a leg out, and I nodded. She ran her hands up my arms as I carefully unbuttoned her pants,   


“May I...um…”

Maria huffed and rolled her eyes.

“I appreciate the chivalry, but just fuck me.”

I hummed and leaned back down to kiss her, pressing one finger in. She pushed down and I thrust a few times before slowly adding a second. God she was _ hot _. 

It was tight, of course, but I could move my fingers around a bit. 

I brushed my thumb against her clit and she bit down on my lip, making me shudder. 

“Mm, Kolta, fuck-”

Maria tensed up, dipping her head back, and I kissed her jaw softly. She moaned loudly and her legs curled up, fingers squeezing on my back. Her breath came out in a gasp as I slowed my rubbing and 

“Mmmm, geez…”

I began pulling my fingers back, stopping when she grabbed my wrist and held it. 

“Just...wait a minute…”

She let out a breath, and I slowly pushed my fingers back to where they had been. Her eyes remained closed and, after a few moments, she let go of my wrist and nodded. 

I went to wipe my hand on my jeans and paused. I was curious…

After making sure her eyes were closed, I quickly slipped my fingers into my mouth. It had always struck me as a bit of a salacious move, and I didn't want to make myself any more embarrassed. 

She tasted good. Like, I wanted...wanted more, but...I hadn't gone down on anyone in a while...

“Still awake?”

I saw her grin and couldn't prepare myself in time. Her hand came up to my shoulder and I nearly whimpered in shock as she flipped us over. The sight of her hovering above me with her bra askew and jeans rumpled and hair mussed up was _ quite _ arousing. 

“First person in a year I take back to my place, and the first in almost four to get me off while almost fully clothed themselves.”

“Are those compliments?” I dropped my head back, worrying my lip with my teeth as she slid her hands down my stomach and to the waistband of my jeans. 

“Definitely compliments.”

She popped the buttons open and I met her gaze, slowly taking ahold of the sheets with one hand. It was 

Hands slid my undershirt up and I shivered at the sudden coolness on my stomach. I raised my arms and she cast the cloth aside, revealing my plain sports bra. 

“Wow, a tattoo? You didn't strike me as the type.” 

I groaned as Maria ran her fingers over it and grinned. I had a small group of characters on my side, one of the few allowances I had given myself. 

“Yeah, well, full of surprises.”

“Hmm, I noticed,” she whispered, and pushed herself up. She reached back and pulled out her bun, shaking her head slightly. I felt my eyelids droop as she pulled a hand through her hair, loosening it. _ Fuck_, she was beautiful. 

Maria leaned back down and pulled my chin up, kissing me roughly. I returned it eagerly, reaching up to hook my arms around her neck. One arm went up by my head and the other hand grasped my jeans, tugging. I used an arm to push myself up and she worked the pants down past my knees. 

“What do you like?”

“Hm? Oh, um…”

Maria’s teeth teased the edge of my neck and I closed my eyes, her fingers scratching the bottom of my stomach. A thumb on my clit made me drop my head back with a groan, and I knew Maria was grinning. 

“That.”

“This?”

I rolled my hips into her hand as she began pressing and circling with her fingers, slowly gaining speed. 

“Yeah.”

“Not a direct stimulation person?”

“I can take what I dish,” I replied, totally not breathless. Her fingers curled up and I barely suppressed another groan, hips bucking down. Part of me was embarrassed that I was this sensitive through my underwear, but the other part of me was...well, elated. 

“Yeah?”

Her voice was low and directly by my ear-I fought the urge to just bare my neck and instead nodded, biting my lip as she dragged my underwear down. 

“Hey.”

I opened my eyes and exhaled as she slowed down. 

“Since you asked, I'll ask.”

I nodded quickly. 

“Yeah, please.”

Maria was nothing if not quick and efficient, pushing two fingers up and into me without much fanfare. I groaned more out of being unused to the sensation than actual pain or pleasure. Maria let me pull her head down, hands in her hair as she set a slow pace. It suited me just fine-steady, with her other hand slipping up and down my side.

I furrowed my eyebrows, flexing my legs-I wasn't really used to having things...there. It wasn't my preferred thing, and it hurt a bit, but Maria wasn’t going too rough or hard. It felt okay, and the swipes of her thumb made it more than bearable.

“How’s that? More?”

“N-no, that’s-just keep doing that, please,” I shivered.

“Ah _ fuck_-Mari-”

I clamped my mouth shut, going tense as the warmth in my stomach spread and popped. I felt her gaze on me as she slowly pumped her fingers, stretching out my high and putting a little stutter into my breathing. 

I let my muscles go slack and inhaled deeply, content. Maria settled herself above my stomach and slowly withdrew her fingers, pulling a groan from my throat. 

“Might want to open your eyes for this,” she whispered, and I obliged. She grinned and slid one of her fingers into her mouth, sucking on it. I felt my breathing stop as I watched her tongue swirl around her finger, then narrowed my eyes as she pulled the other one into her mouth. 

“You're not the only one who gets to taste,” she mocked, and I groaned. 

“You're killing me here.”

“Too much?”

“I can barely breathe,” I muttered. 

She smirked and I reiterated. 

“You're crushing my lungs.”

“Oh _ that's _ why, uh-huh.”

We settled into silence for a while, me catching my breath while Maria leaned down to rest her head on my neck. After a few minutes, she gave me a kiss on the cheek and stretched, sitting up. 

“As much as I would like you to stay, we do need to keep up the pretense of a maintenance visit…”

I groaned, sitting up slowly. 

“Got a bathroom I could use real quick?”

\------------------------------

“You can say thanks, you know.”

I looked up.

“For what?”

“For getting you laid,” Natasha whispered. Never, ever, in all my life, had I been _ this _ glad that SHIELD technician desks were almost eight feet apart from each other. I flushed instantly, looking around to make sure none of my co-workers had heard.

“That...it wasn’t…we just went on...”

“Uh huh. Please, you have “service top” written across your forehead.”

She winked at me and I went a darker red, turning my chair to face her. 

“_Look_, it's not-”

“Commander Hill, how good to see you. Perfect timing, too, Agent Winders here was just talking about this lovely mission you two worked on together just a little while ago.”

“Oh? How interesting. Widow, Fury is looking for you and I need my technicians to be _ focused _ and _ on task_-”

I spun my chair around quickly and hastily began typing again.

“-so I would appreciate it if you didn’t distract them.”

I heard Natasha chuckle and her weight disappeared from my desk.

“I don’t think I could take her eyes off of you if I tried,” she whispered, and I flushed as I heard her footsteps fade away. If the computers we used didn’t require so much space per working desktop, about three different people would’ve been within earshot of Natasha’s not-so-subtle prodding.

“Winders.”

I swallowed. It was too early on for her to be jealous, so maybe just annoyed? Either way, I had a claim for not really being part of whatever Widow was doing. 

“Y-yes ma’am?”

“...proceed as normal.”

**

“Hey.”

I looked over at Bobbi, narrowing my eyes at her expression. For the first time in the months following her reassignment, we had gone out for drinks. Well, she was drinking alcohol, I was sipping sparkling water and making sure she got home without an extra body. 

“What?”

“Is that a hickey?”

It took a second to sink in, and Bobbi was already laughing by the time I slapped a hand over my neck. I had moved my ponytail over my shoulder and loosened my collar, exposing the part of my neck Maria had nibbled on. 

**

That night, we went to my apartment. We didn’t have a date planned, Maria just got in my car as I was leaving work and came over. I didn’t have any objections, but I was bit nervous about the lack of response when I asked if she wanted me to order takeout. She simply said she'd like to see my apartment, and no way in hell I was going to question that tone; not as an employee, not as a girlfriend. 

We got to my apartment without incident, and it wasn't until I had my keys in my hand did I remember that I hadn’t really cleaned in a while. I pushed open the door and stepped inside, waiting for Maria to enter before shutting the door and dropping my keys on the counter. 

“Um-the couch is just on the left, if you could just let me put up some stuff in my room for a minute-”

I felt a pull on my arm and turned to face Maria as she stepped into my space. With her work heels on I had to crane my head up a bit to see her eyes from this close. The hand I had stretched out behind myself for balance hit my dining table and Maria’s gaze flickered to it, then back to me.

She pushed me back and I took the hint to pull myself up onto the table, dropping my bag onto a chair. My knees were pulled apart and she stepped between them, and I couldn't help but admit that the sight was doing a lot for me. I tilted my head back a bit as Maria placed her hands by my hips and leaned forwards, now having about five inches on me. 

“Widow?”

I blinked. She waited. 

“Acquaintance. Barely. We’ve talked about three times. I think she just gets bored at the office.”

Maria hummed and brought her hands to my collar, fiddling with the top button of my shirt. 

“And Bobbi?”

“She’s been my friend for a while, she’s not-it would be too weird. And she has Hunter.”

“So I don’t need to worry.”

“Definitely not. Unless you want to-I mean I'm into monogamy so-uh...should-should I worry? For, er, about you, I mean. All the guys in the Materials department and literally every other person from Communications-” 

She clamped a hand over my mouth and I stopped talking. I could feel her thighs against my knees and that was bringing back all sorts of memories that were likely inappropriate right now. 

“You don't have to be jealous, or worried. I don't date often, so I choose carefully. Cheating is stupid.”

I nodded slowly, swallowing as she pulled her hand away. 

“Agreed.”

“Ah, video games. I have to say, I pegged you for that one.”

More shuffling. “Did you build these?”

“Wood is cheap,” I groaned. I had built myself a coffee table, nightstand, and two chairs back in my college days, and they had lasted a long time. 

“Hm.”

She walked off and I headed into the room as I heard her open up my closet. 

“Do you-”

“Looking for bugs, weapons, cameras, that sort of thing. Sorry if I mess anything up,” Maria murmured, closing my doors softly. She had kicked off her heels at some point and was walking around barefoot, something that shouldn't look so attractive as it was with those pants. 

“I-I was just going to ask if you wanted some water,” I said, swallowing. Maria blinked and nodded.

“Oh. Um, yeah.”

I nodded and turned back to the kitchen, grabbing a pair of glasses from my cabinet. I shook my head quickly to make sure I wasn't dreaming. 

\------------------------------

CHAPTER 2 below

\------------------------------

I covered my mouth, grinning.

“Are you-”

“No.”

“But-”

“_No_, Kolta.”

I had to laugh at that.

“Maria, it’s fine to be ticklish. It’s actually kind of adorable.”

“Shut up. It’s a weakness.”

“Hey, I'm ticklish too. It's not fun, sure, but it's...just a human quality.”

She glanced over at me. I'd made a fatal error.

"You are?"

\------------------------------

We were walking down the street after our sixth date when Maria suddenly swerved to turn down the sidewalk. I hesitated a bit before following her, staying a little behind this time. 

“Maria?”

“Sorry, just want to check a place out really quick. It'll take ten minutes tops.”

I nodded and followed her to the bar she pointed at. I held open the door, looking around the area. A hand slipped into mine and I found Maria pulling me towards a table. I looked down at our hands and found my cheeks warm. I hadn't done this with anyone in a while, let alone just after a few dates. 

We sat down and she let go of my hand. 

\------------------------------

“You know, you look good in ties,” Maria murmured, and I grinned. 

“Thank God. I do have something going for me.”

She chuckled softly and  


She looked up at me, level with my stomach, and I felt a jolt of panic. Maria was down between my legs. Her face was _ right there _. Logically, she would...continue to...descend.

I swallowed.

“I h-haven't taken a...shower, uh, M-Mari-”

I clamped a hand over my mouth as her lips

“_Shit_-”

I bit my lip to cut myself off and groaned, eyelids fluttering at the sweet rush of blood up to my head. I let my eyes close for a moment as Maria slowed the motion of her tongue, 

Mari hummed, absently wiping her mouth.

  


\------------------------------

“Do you like sex?”

I froze and looked up, pausing in my chewing as I took in Maria’s expression. Still and thoughtful, chin resting in her palm. 

“Um...where did this come from? Is...um, yes? I do, I'm pretty sure, I mean it's-it’s...yeah. U-unless you don't, we don't have to or anything, uh…why do you...”

I was at a loss, rubbing my temples as my face grew warmer. 

“You don't initiate. Plus, whenever we do have sex, it seems like you think nothing of trying to get yourself off. You seem almost...surprised when I focus on you. I know that on some base level that you like it, even if you're not that into penetration, but...sometimes I wonder if you're ever pushing yourself into doing things.”

“No, n-no. It's just-I-I’m not super, well, dominant, you know, and it's-it’s more of just wanting to...um, I mean, I like it, it's just not always...the priority. I get a lot out of the idea that I can make...or that you would...want...um,” I mumbled. I felt as if I were being interrogated and blinked hard. 

“I-I'm sorry.”

“Hey hey, it's okay. I didn't mean to make you upset. I just didn't want you to be doing anything uncomfortable that wasn't necessary.”

“Oh. Okay. To be honest, I...I, um, normally like it, but it can get a bit…_much_. Not the act, just the...f-frequency.” I muttered the last part, playing with my fingers. 

“Alright.”

“Alright?”

“Yeah. Here, why don't we figure out a signal. That way, if you don’t feel like it, you can tell me without having to say it.”

I blinked. 

“That okay?”

“Yes. Really. More than okay, that's...wow.”

She tilted her head and I swallowed. 

“It's just...most people think that since I'm not really raring to go all the time it means I don't like them or something. I do, I really do, my body just doesn't always..._want_, I guess. And you were...really fast in noticing.”

_ And most people don’t ever notice enough to ask, _ I thought. 

My ears burned a bit from the admission but Maria just shrugged and rubbed my knee. 

“That you for telling me. I don't really mind. Having a lower sex drive than a partner isn't anything to be ashamed of. Just make sure to tell me what you do and don't want.”

I nodded. 

“I wouldn't mind a kiss.”

“Cheeky, aren't you?”

\------------------------------

“And what does that one mean again?”

“It's dragon.”

“How is that dragon? I've seen the characters for dragon, that’s not it.”

“Because it's not in Japanese, it's Mandarin. The kanji is the same for dragon, but I normally write in Hiragana and got my other tattoos in that so-never mind. This one is the only Mandarin one.”

She squinted and pulled my side closer, making me squeak. 

“Oh yeah…”

I chuckled as she looked intensely at the tattoos, taking in all the differences in styles. 

“One day you'll remember.”

I moved to get up from the bed and paused, leg flaring. Apparently it didn't like me crouched over and supporting my weight for an extended period. Shifting my hands to have better support, I pushed myself up with an exhale. 

“Where are you going?”

“Bathroom, be right back.”

\------------------------------

“I'm dying.”

“You're not dying.”

“Technically, yes, I am. I'm losing all this blood…”

“Not as quickly as you're making it sound, though.”

Maria groaned and rolled over, propping her feet up on my coffee table. 

“I know you have some sympathy buried somewhere in there.”

“That I do. I also have Midol.”

Maria sighed and reached for my arm, tugging. 

“Please?”

“Just let me get my bag.”

I stood and Maria watched me rummage through my backpack before pulling out a pill bottle. I set it down and pulled out a water bottle, handing it to her. 

“Thank god.”

“Oh, I don't know, you could thank me too.”

Maria deadpanned and swallowed the medicine, leaning over to kiss my cheek. 

\------------------------------

“Ow!”

Mariah froze and I grabbed her arm, freeing my leg and letting it drop back down to the mattress with a grimace.

“Uh-shit are you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah it-it’s just my leg,” I managed, reaching down to dig my fingers into the muscles. "They don't normally get-I normally have to be pushing them pretty hard to get that to happen."

“Can I help?”

“I’m sorry,” I muttered, putting my hands over my face.

“For what? It’s not your fault,” she murmured, but I shook my head. My face was flushed and my head warm, and I knew I looked red all over.

“I’m just embarrassed, we were-and-that doesn’t normally aggravate my leg.”

"Well...at least I know that can happen now. I won't tie your legs to the walls or anything," she whispered, and I grunted.

\------------------------------

We didn't sleep in the same place very often, maybe thrice a week at most. The safe house was, well, safer, but there was the issue of cameras. Maria couldn't keep disappearing without becoming suspicious, and I couldn't stay over all the time. We could only schedule so many overnight maintenance visits. 

Maria always woke up before me. Her alarm was set for 6, mine for 6:30. I just wasn't conditioned for that time. She was always up and changing or showering or snuggling when I awoke, so I almost never saw her sleeping. 

_ Almost _ never. 

There was one morning where I found myself awake at 5:30, head bleary with sleep. I had my good contacts in, thank god, so I didn't have to worry about changing them. 

She never looked relaxed like this. Sometimes Maria even ground her teeth in her sleep.

\------------------------------

“Winders.”

“Yes ma’am?”

“This is Tony Stark. I'm sure you know about him already. He is going to need to borrow you for a day or so. You are, temporarily, the tech liaison between SHIELD and Stark Industries until Agent Lyndon recovers from his mysterious illness.”

Mr Stark looked me over once, then shrugged.

“Alright. Come on, then. We have files to transfer and things to steal.”

I grabbed my bag and my laptop, shooting Maria a look. She just shrugged as Mr Stark walked away.

“Just don’t go near anything that glows.”

**

“Got a first name, Agent Winders?”

“...Kolta. Sir.”

“Wow. Your parents were creative. Yeah, so, Kolta, basically...don't touch anything besides that terminal, don't go in my room, listen to JARVIS, and if you have a gun, you have to tell me before you fire it or else you may ignite the whole building. So...just stay here.”

With that, he left and shut the door. I waited for the sound of the lock and sat back against

\----------------------------

Maria popped a few more buttons on my shirt, reaching around to pull the fabric away from the back of my neck. I gasped as her teeth dug into the skin by the very bottom of my neck, deeper than previous exploration and _ much _ harder. This was new. 

_ New, but certainly not bad, _ I decided, grabbing weakly at the front of her shirt. Her teeth brushed against my collarbone as she kissed her way down.

“God, Maria…”

I let go of the edge of the table and set my hand back to steady myself, breathing heavily. Maria pulled a hand from the table and grasped my belt, pulling at the clasp. 

She paused briefly and stepped back a bit, and I found myself spinning around before I could open my mouth to question. “Is this okay?” she asked, pressing against my back and wrapping her arms around my waist. I nodded quickly, setting one hand on the table again. 

This was intense, and we hadn't really talked about anything like this yet, but _ god _ her hands were already sliding down my stomach and I could only imagine what it would be like if she pressed me against an actual wall-

A groan passed my lips as my pants fell to my knees and my belt was dropped on a chair. 

“Fuck-”

I tightened my grip on the edge of the table. Maria hummed against my neck as I exhaled out harshly.

\------------------------------

I slowly raised my hands up, meeting her eyes. 

“Hey. It's just me. I'm not gonna attack you.”

Maria’s arms trembled and she lowered the gun, swallowing. There was blood across her forearms and hands, consistent with trying to stop someone from bleeding out. I let out a breath, trying to slow my heart rate. I knew Maria wouldn't shoot on sight but...

“Sorry. Just...on edge.” Maria holstered her weapon and took a deep breath, crossing to the couch and sitting down. 

“I know you’re probably a bit surprised...I saw the report come in and I thought...maybe…”

Maria didn't react as I slowly sat down next to her, her hands anchored on the couch. 

“Do you want to talk about it?”

She stiffened, then scoffed. 

“You sound like a shrink.”

“Well, they do make a decent living. But you...can you talk about just a bit of it? I know it'll be better than seeing an actual doctor later.”

Maria huffed weakly and hung her head, taking a deep breath. I sat in silence, waiting. 

“It was just...Reynolds. We were going on an arms trafficking bust, Fury wanted me to lead instead of Archer and...Archer didn't like that, so he purposely jumped in right before our ambush was supposed to. He managed to shoot out the tires of the car before getting shot down. The rest of us had to deal with the remaining vehicle, and...and Reynolds got clipped by it when it crashed. He took a round to the chest while he was on the ground. He was _ down _ and they still shot him. It just makes me so _ mad_.”

Maria broke off and shook her head, angrily wiping her eyes. 

“Hey, hey, it's not your fault. Archer is the one who messed up, and yes it was bad, but-”

She stopped me with a hand and shook her head harder, covering her eyes. 

“I really-I don't want to talk about it anymore. Please. I just need a shower and alcohol and sleep.”

“Okay, well, can I-”

“_Please_.”

She sounded so tired. 

“Maria, I-I’m not going to force you to talk to me. I just-let me look at the wounds on your hands? You have rubbing alcohol and medical tape, right?”

She nodded slowly and pointed to the cabinet beneath the sink. 

“I need a shower.”

I stood and moved out of the way as she pulled off her shoes. 

“I-I’ll get set up.”

**

I grabbed some clothes for her from her drawers-while averting my eyes to most of her underwear-and set them out on the bed. Maria was in the shower, dead silent.

She emerged with shirt and towel on and sat on the bed, nodding to me.

“Can I have one of your hands?”

She nodded and held out her left hand. I put a towel under it and winced a little. The skin on her knuckles was torn open and red. I had done this a few times myself, but not this deep. I took a small wipe, soaked it in water, and began to dab at the dried blood. I made sure to look up at her face if I had to press, wanting to make sure I wasn't applying too much pressure. After the water, I set her hand down and pulled out some bandages and alcohol. 

“I'm sorry that this will hurt, but-”

“I know.”

I nodded and poured some alcohol over the wipe. I ran it over all her knuckles, flinching at the hiss and twitching. 

“Sorry, sorry,” 

“Kol.”

Her expression was angry, unfocused, and her eyes were on the wall behind me. 

“I don't mean this, but I just really need you to fuck off for a while. Just a day or so.”

I recoiled slightly, furrowing my eyebrows. 

“I-”

“It's for your safety, really. Please.”

I could tell she was serious, and while it seemed a little rude, I understood. I silently gathered the things together, standing and slipping my shoes back on. Maria hadn't moved from her chair, and was still staring at the wall. 

“Uh, call me, I guess,” I managed, shutting the door behind me.

**

I leaned against the doorframe, a bit amused. 

“Aren't flowers a little...cliched?”

She looked down. 

“I didn't really know what you liked. Look, I-I was a bit of an asshole, all right? I just...I normally like space to process when stuff like that happens, and you were helpful and had good intentions but I just-I just can't deal with people sometimes. So I was rude.”

I leaned against the doorframe and shrugged. 

“I get it. You were pissed and such. It...did hurt a bit, but I'm not gonna be a baby about it.”

I placed a hand on her shoulder and pulled her closer, smiling. 

\------------------------------

“Uh, Director?”

He looked up from his desk and silently motioned me in. 

“Sorry to disturb you, sir, but these are the papers from Commander Hill you needed.”

“And where is the Commander today?”

“Sick, sir. Flu, I think. She can't come in, but she made sure I would deliver these to you.”

_ It's not completely a lie, she did throw up_, I remembered ruefully. 

**

_ flash back _

I double-checked the address and grimaced, steeling my nerves. 

“Maria.”

“Hm? Oh hey! Kol, hey, have you met my friend Barry? He’s been keeping me from spilling my guts while I wait for you, you took a while.”

“Well, that's very nice of him. I'm Kol, her-her ride,” I said, offering a hand. He shook it, helping a swiveling Maria stand. 

“She's not my ride, sh-she's my girlfr-”

Maria clamped a hand over her mouth and groaned, then chuckled. 

“Yeah, let’s go to my place. Too many cameras by the safe house.”

**

I dropped my backpack on the kitchen counter and exhaled, stretching my arms. 

She wasn't in the bed, and I didn't hear any running water. Puzzled, I made my way to the bathroom and found the door locked. 

“Oh-sorry, it's just me.”

"Wait wait wait," I heard, then the door was flung open. She barged out and almost ran me over, eyes wide and hair damp.

“H-hey.”

She was wearing a shirt I had never seen, one I was having mixed feelings about. The neckline was very low, curvy, and it didn't seem like the type of shirt to sleep in; especially without a bra, which I could gather she wasn't wearing. I snapped my eyes to the wall, mentally berating myself for practically ogling my girlfriend. 

“What's up with you?”

“Nothing, nothing is...up. I just...gotta go back to work in a while, was gonna...gonna check to see if you were...asleep or not...erm…”

Maria had slowly leaned forwards into my space while I was talking, and I could now smell the residual alcohol on her breath. 

"Why'd you want to know? Need something?"

I tilted my head, 

"No, nothing in particular. I was just wondering if you were okay."

"You're horny, aren't you?"

A chuckle broke away from me but I shook my head.

"I-maybe, but that's-"

Maria shoved me back with a smile and I happily allowed myself to be pushed up towards the pillows.

Her hand slid up my thigh and I bit the inside of my cheek, trying to keep my eyes open. 

  


“Hey.”

I forced my eyes open. 

“Get on your stomach?”

I felt heat rise to my cheeks at the idea, but nodded and awkwardly turned over. 

She pressed down on my lower back and I groaned rather loudly. Maria ran her nails up to my neck and I shivered, muffling my noise in the pillows this time. 

“Why am I just now learning that this is how to make you loud?”

I shook my head, trying to press my hips down into the mattress. 

“I have some sorta good news?”

“I talked to uh...Marsons? Yeah, Marsons, in Records, and he agreed to just...ignore your presence in the written reports he gives each month.”

I raised an eyebrow. 

“Is that legal?”

She scoffed. 

“Kol, nothing above level six is legal. It’s not going to matter. If anything serious does happen, then they have the video files of you entering and exiting. We just…might have to be a little careful how close we are in the entrance and living room. Oh and I checked that the cameras don't swivel, so we can still get it on in the kitchen.”

\------------------------------

“That's not what I'm talking about! I don't give a damn about yogurt, that's not-”

“Then what the hell are we talking about?!”

“You! You, Maria, and us! It's-whenever we talk about you, anything deeper than something I'd find in your classified personnel file, you get defensive, or redirect. I ask you things because I want to know, because unlike you I can't just-just dig up the entire past of my partner or use security cameras to watch-”

“Do you seriously think I would do that?”

“No, but those are just examples for the point! I answer everything you ask me, and while I do think I know some of you, I don't know enough for us to be at this point right now. We aren't sharing the same stuff, Maria, not at the same level.”

“That's not true. I trust you, I let you in my apartment, my bed, my life, and despite the security risks-”

“Those are just as great for me! Kidnapping for leverage against you, being left in the dark when you go on a mission-that's not the trust part. I have let you into just as much, if not more of my life, and how does-Maria, when you pointed a gun at me after that raid where Reynolds went down, what did I do?”

I saw her shoulders lose some of their tension, and she glanced down at the floor. 

“I didn't run, or scream, or yell at you, because I knew you wouldn't just shoot me for no reason. There was blood all over your hands-other people might have assumed you just killed somebody, and to be honest I wasn't sure what had happened when I walked in. For all I knew, you had been through severe trauma, but I trusted that you wouldn't just-just pull the trigger for no reason.”

“Doesn't that prove you know me? Doesn't that say you know enough about me to know that I wouldn't shoot you?”

“That says that I trusted you not to. I could've been wrong, and no one but the two of us would've ever known that.”

\------------------------------

CHAPTER 3 below

\------------------------------

“Aw, poor baby,” I cooed, and she glared at me. Her hands were shaking so badly that her key ring was bouncing. 

I draped another towel over her and began unbuttoning her pants, which were completely drenched. 

“T-trying to get in my pants? Now?”

I froze and looked up, fingers tangled in the zipper. 

“I-no, heat. And you can't-with wet clothing-”

“It's a j-joke, Winders, now help me before I f-freeze.”

I nodded quickly and pulled her pants down, 

**

“Maria Rosa Hill!” I said impatiently, tapping my foot impatiently. “You get back in your bed and rest!”

“Kolta…” 

“_No_.”

“Please?”

“No. And don’t even try seducing me, that’s not going to work again.”

Her eyes narrowed and a grin split her pale face.

“Oh, _ again_?”

“You are _ not _ going to work like this. No way.”

“But-”

I pushed her back down onto the bed as she sat up and crossed my arms.

“If you’re too weak to push me, you’re too sick to go to work. Okay?”

I lowered my voice a bit as I sat on the edge of the bed, taking in Maria’s sweaty clothes and sluggish movements. She wiped her hair out of her face and sighed, slowly propping herself up on her elbows.

“I have work to do.”  
“You’re not going to get anything done with a temperature of a hundred and two!”

I sighed, taking a deep breath.

“Sorry. Sorry, I’m yelling. You need to rest, Maria. If you push yourself, you’ll collapse again. At SHIELD, no less.”

She groaned and turned over, pulling a pillow to her chest.

“Hey.”

I looked back.

“When did the seduction work? Was it the time I got you to wear a dress?”

I rolled my eyes and shut the door.

\------------------------------

_ Am I...am I allowed to stare now? I mean, she’s my girlfriend. Would she mind? Maybe. Staring is bad. Looks creepy. Especially since no one knows she’s your girlfriend. Mm. But god… _

I suppressed a sigh as I watched Maria converse with a visiting official. Suits are really her thing. Especially when she pairs them with her tall heels. 

An agreement was made and the two shook hands. A blond escort showed up and guided the man away, and I looked back to see Maria looking at me. 

**

When we made it back to my apartment, I could barely keep myself back. I had my hands fisting my keys and pants so I didn't lose it. I shut the door and sighed, banging my head against it. 

“What is it?”

“Mm? Oh it-nothing, nothing that-”

“Kol.”

She raised an eyebrow and while I silently relished in the nickname, I knew that face meant business. 

“You just-you look great today. Really great.”

She tilted her head. 

“I know you’ve seen me in conference attire before.”

“Yeah, but before was different. I wasn't..._ allowed _ to stare, I guess? Not that I did. Today. I meant...admire. From afar. Maybe a little creepily.”

She slowly started to smile, eyes narrowed. 

“Do you like it? Watching me in my power suit?”

“Well...erm, it's certainly...something.”

Maria grinned raunchily and put her hands against my waist, pushing me back.

“Something?”

I nervously brought my hands up to my chest as she pressed forwards, pinning me to the wall. Her heels gave her that bare inch on me, but that was all she needed. God, this made me feel like a twenty year old again, all nervous and new and just..._nervous_.

“Something...very nice to...admire,” I said again, choosing my words carefully. 

“Not something you'd want to strip me out of?”

I let out a breath through my teeth and tilted my head to match Maria, who had a smug smirk on display. 

“That is certainly a good idea, although this,” I said, gesturing to how she was undoing the first button of my shirt, her general posture, the way she was holding me against the wall, “doesn't make me think it'll happen any second.”

Maria dug her teeth into my earlobe and I found my shoulders tight with anticipation. 

“You know...I’ve never had such a submissive partner before.”

I tensed slightly at the phrasing but Maria’s teeth on the side of my neck relaxed me. “I think I like it.”

“I would...definitely hope so,” I mumbled, sliding a hand down to the front of my jeans. I knew I was wet enough at this point and it was tempting to try and get any kind of friction. 

“Uh uh. Hands stay here,” she said, bringing my arms up and out. She pressed my hands on the wall out from the side of my head

  
  


I took a moment to compose myself, breathing in deeply. Maria’s hand was still rubbing my stomach and the other was on my shoulder.

Maria held up a finger and reached down to work her heels off, sighing in relief. 

“God that’s so much better.”

\------------------------------

I blinked once. My ears weren't working properly, they...they couldn't’ve been. Maria pulled away from my ear, 

“You...you...really?”

Maria looked down

“Yeah. I mean, it's been a year, almost, and I just felt...certain. So I wanted you to know.”

I dropped my head, grinning. I was itching to blurt it out back to her but we were in a public space, and I knew subtly wasn’t my strong suit.

**

  


“Do you remember about two weeks ago when you were on emergency repair and didn’t get back until one AM? You were trying to be really quiet, I could tell, and to your credit I barely woke up. You just wrestled your shoes off and crawled onto the bed, didn’t even make it under the covers. Got all snuggly, too. I thought it was adorable. Anyways, I pulled the extra blanket up for you and you whispered right in my ear, “God I love you.” Completely floored me.”

\------------------------------

“Winders.”

I looked up to see Maria hovering above me, intently reading over a folder. 

“Yes ma’am?”

“It seems you misfiled something on your personnel forms. Fix these and return to my office when you're done,” she said, dropping the folder on my desk. 

“Um...yes. Right away, ma’am.”

She nodded and strode back into the command center, and I paused my program. I began reading over my file, finding nothing out of the ordinary. All my information was correct, right down to my weight.

_ I don’t know why she would’ve given it to me to fix out here, normally she would just call me into her...office… _

I blinked.

_ Is this just an excuse for me to go see her? No, no, Maria wouldn’t do that. She’s professional. God, it’s actually really admirable… _

I turned to look into the command booth, but Maria wasn't there anymore. 

_ I guess she went back to her private office. Maybe she...nope. Stop that. _

I fiddled my thumbs as I waited for the elevator. Really, why give me this and disappear? Maybe there actually was something wrong and I didn’t notice. I cracked the folder open again and began sifting through it.

The elevator came and I stepped on, a little relieved no one else was inside. 

“Commander, what is uh...what's wrong with the file?”

“Why don't you sit down for a second? Oh, and close the door.”

**

I’m not a very expressive person. When I'm angry, I'm silent and quick with my movements. When I'm sad, I'm silent and slow. 

That being said, it shouldn't be surprising that I'm rather quiet when...you know, when Maria and I are together. Not sleeping. 

“Maria,” I gasped, pulling at the desk. “We’re gonna...gonna get c-caught…”

She chuckled into my neck and pointed at the door over my shoulder. 

“Soundproof and locked. They don't need to bother me and they know that.” 

Her arm was wrapped around my waist and her hand was making slow stroking movements in my pants that were making it very hard to stay quiet. I squeezed the hand that was holding mine against the desk, always ready for a signal. 

“Fuck, Maria,” I hissed, closing my eyes as fingers slipped up into me. I grabbed her arm, unable to keep my head up and fearing I might unbalance myself. 

“Bit vocal today, aren't you? I like it, don't get me wrong.”

“This is...is dangerous,_Maria_,” I groaned, my hips bucking forwards regardless of my nerves. She chuckled and pulled the back of my pants down to my thighs, leaving my underwear. 

I clamped my mouth shut, locking my joints as pleasure crashed through me. 

“Jesus,” I whispered, head falling forwards. Maria slowly withdrew her fingers, careful not to get any excess on my pants. 

“Love you,” she husked in my ear, and I melted. 

“Love you too,” I muttered, brushing myself off. 

\------------------------------

“Don’t make me pull rank.”

I narrowed my eyes.

“You wouldn’t dare.”

Maria glared right back. 

“You know I can.”

I sighed. 

“But why me? I went there once!”

“And you didn't get injured. Better track record than any other agent we’ve sent.”

Apparently, Mr Stark had gone through his eighteenth tech liaison and SHIELD was getting fed up with the complaints. Hence, they wanted to send me again. 

“If I knew this would happen, I would’ve broken something over there,” I muttered. 

“Don't be childish,” Maria warned, and I relented. 

\------------------------------

I slammed the door shut, dumping my bag on the floor. 

"Whoa, what's-"

“Our head of department thinks I have fucking disability pay because of my limp, and he won't accept that I'm not getting paid any extra, so he-and it's _ bullshit _, I'm just-”

I threw up my hands as the energy left me again. 

"It bother me so much. Asshole can't even bother to _Google_ the requirements-I don't qualify and he should know that! He manages the payroll!"

\------------------------------

I groaned and sat up as Maria shook my shoulder.

“What, what? What’s on fire?”

“Kolta, I need you to help me clean some stuff up. My sister decided to surprise me with a visit and there are clothes everywhere.”

I grabbed my jacket from the couch and pulled it on, shaking the hood out. I stretched my arms and patted my pockets, making sure I had everything. 

“You're leaving?”

I paused. Maria was standing by the kitchen, looking slightly confused. 

“I mean...well...you were panicking, so I assumed...your sister didn't know...and you shouldn’t have to...and I was…”

I gestured lamely to the door and ducked my head. Maria nodded and walked over. 

“Oh. Yeah, um, she hasn't really...I’ve mentioned you, once, but...she can be a little…”

“It's okay. I'll see you tomorrow?”

“Yeah, yeah. 

“Ana, um-”

“This must be the girlfriend, yes?”

I sputtered through a confirmation and shook the extended hand. 

“Good, I have so much to ask you. Will you be staying for a while?”

“I-well-I was-”

“Kol has to go check on her apartment.”

“Yes. Soon.”

“Oh, just a half hour? And don't roll your eyes, Maria, I'm not gonna bite her.”

She looked me up and down. 

“If anything, it looks like you've already done that.”

I instantly thought back to the times Maria had bitten my neck, wondering if there was any mark recent enough to be visible. 

\------------------------------

I rubbed my temples, keeping my eyes shut against the overhead lights. 

“I'm telling you, it just died. I didn't know you weren't back yet, I'm sorry.”

Maria skulked over by the couch, cross. 

“You have a charging port in your car.”

“You borrowed the cord yesterday and haven't given it back yet!”

There was a pause, and I saw her cheeks color a bit. 

“Okay, you have me on that one. But when do you ever not charge your phone?”

“When someone decided that it was a better idea to bend me over the kitchen counter than let me do my normal nighttime routine!”

I felt my cheeks burn a bit at the statement but it _ was _ accurate. 

Maria seemed equally as flustered, and I decided to try and step back before it evolved. 

“Look, I’m sorry. I...I don't know, I could've charged it at work or something. But that's not-”

“You didn't signal me to _ stop _ last night. Did I-”

“No! That's not-I just meant that I didn't really...I didn't have a clear thought process by the time we actually made it to bed, so I just..._ forgot _.”

I crossed my arms, shaking a bit. I knew I was bright red all over and a little hot. 

“Okay. I...I think I may have overreacted. I'm sorry, Kolta. I just...got worried. And from now on, before we have sex after work, I will make sure to plug in your phone.”

I couldn't help a chuckle at that, but nodded nonetheless. Maria exhaled slowly and I relaxed against the wall, glad that we hadn't devolved into a complete yelling match over something so stupid. 

“Alright, alright. Come here.”

I held out my arms and Maria pulled me over to her chair, 

\------------------------------

“No way.”

I looked up to find Maria staring at me.

“What?”

“You have glasses?”

I blinked, then whipped them off quickly. I hadn’t realized until now that Maria had probably never seen me with them on, as I wore contacts most of the day and didn’t take my glasses out of my apartment.

“Well, yeah, just-just not often. I have week-long contacts and so I only really wear them on days off or if I overused my eyes…”

I trailed off, absently polishing the lenses with the edge of my shirt. 

“I think they look lovely. The blue rims are nice.”

“Thanks.”

I slowly slipped them back on, picking up my book and sinking back into the couch. 

**

“Well, I have to head out soon if I'm going to beat the traffic,” Maria groaned, pulling herself up off the couch. 

“You can sleep here if you want.”

“Believe me, I do want, but I need to bring some documents into work tomorrow and I don't think you want to wake up an hour earlier.”

I nodded, stretching my arms out and grabbing the key for the door. I stood over at the door, waiting, and took a moment to clean my glasses off. When I slid them back on, Maria was closer than I had thought. She was looking at me very...intensely. 

“What-”

“Why don't you wear those more often?”

“I, uh...well, they're just-and it's not really…”

I stepped back against the door as Maria stepped forwards, unexpectedly warm. 

“Hey.”

“Yeah?”

Her hands slipped down to my waist and I narrowed my eyes at her grin. 

“Got a hair tie?”

I held out my wrist and tried not to shiver as she quickly pulled her hair back into a ponytail. Buns meant work, ponytails were normally for...well...

“Mind if I put on some music?”

She pulled away and I shook my head, watching her head into the kitchen. This 

“I almost forgot.”

“A-are we celebrating something?”

“Yes and no. New initiative I’m part of, it should be...interesting.”

\------------------------------

I shot up out of my seat.

“Yes!”

Maria looked at me in surprise as I sat back down and began to scribble all over my notepad, marking down corresponding sections on the blueprints.

“Cause, see, Dan doesn’t know a fucking thing about servers so he didn’t put enough space in the designated storage area of the plane when he designed it, and as the tech consultant he wanted me to figure it out, and well, fuck you Dan, because I don’t have a background in flight or even aerodynamics but I know that we can expand back by-”

I stopped once I realized I was talking aloud, slowing my furious scrawling. 

“Um, I mean...I got it.”

Maria put a hand over her mouth, still not putting her book away. I turned back to my work and rolled my eyes when I heard her snort, her shoulders shaking.

“Okay, it’s not that funny.”

“Are you kidding me? You rarely use curse words when we aren’t having sex.”

I felt my cheeks flush and growled.

“I do so! Just not as much. They aren’t normally necessary.”

“Okay. Well, you stay here with your epiphany, I’m going to go to bed. Don’t stay up too long.”

“Goodnight.”

**

I awoke to the heady smell of lavender, and sat up quickly. I felt icky and realized I must’ve fallen asleep on the couch in yesterday’s clothes. Rubbing my eyes, I sighed with relief when I noticed I still had about three hours before I had to wake up, meaning I could grab a little sleep. 

Maria was asleep when I crept into our room, slowly swapping out my shirt and pants for a tank and shorts. I lifted the edge of the covers and

\------------------------------

“Kolta-”

I hummed in question and Maria groaned, thighs twitching. I moved the hand on her stomach to the bed, pinning her hip as I pulled my tongue back into my mouth. I kissed her thighs, trailing up and placing a single kiss on her clit. 

“Yes?”

Maria’s fingers tightened in my hair and I smiled as I took in the heavy breathing and sweat. 

“Don't you fucking tease me,” Maria growled, and I felt the words ripple down my spine pleasantly. 

“Say it again,” I said. 

“I said, don't you _ fucking _ tease me,” she repeated, and I narrowed my eyes in pleasure. 

“Good. Now the other thing.”

“Which part?”

“About _ her_,” I growled, my stomach flipping a bit at just the mention. The “her” I was referring to was the brunette I had found by Maria when I returned from the bathroom bar, the one that had winked at us earlier. The one that leaned close to Maria, the one that didn't acknowledge me when I stepped behind Maria and glared her down, the one that I nearly broke my year-long no-violence record for.

The damn _flirt_ who didn't seem to take any of the hints Maria dropped or smacked her in the face with, the girl who just kept trailing her eyes over Maria’s legs. The fling, as Maria informed me, that she only slept with one due to a lack of respect. 

“She was just a jackass who couldn't take a hint,” Maria said, breath catching as I slid my other hand up her thigh and across her stomach. 

“If you don't get your goddamn head back between my thighs, I swear I’ll finish myself,” Maria snapped, and I couldn't stop the moan that spilled from my throat at the image. 

“What brought that on?” Maria panted, one arm across her eyes. 

“Honestly? Mostly jealousy, but...also the fact that we hadn't really had sex in two weeks,” I murmured, and Maria huffed. 

“If that's what two weeks gets me, I might wait it out now and then.”

“Oh shut _ up_.”

Maria laughed heartily as I settled on top of her hips, placing my elbows on either side of her head. 

“And how are you?” she asked, running her hands up my legs. 

“Better now that I have all the territorial BS out of my mind. Sorry if I...hurt you.”

Maria smirked, turning her face towards the hand I ran through her hair. 

“No complaints here. But I do think it's time we took care of you,” she purred, hands slipping under my undone jeans. Maria’s fingers slid up into me with ease, surprising me. I choked on my moan as she picked up a rough yet slow pace and sunk her teeth into my collarbone. My ears burned as I dropped my head into her shoulder and bucked my hips back, obscene noises already coming from Maria’s hand. 

“_Shit_, Maria,” I groaned, letting my jaw drop open. Her other hand went from my hip to pull on the waistband of my pants, and I slowed my movements as she pulled them down to my knees. She twisted up with her fingers and I whimpered, fisting the pillow beneath her head in one hand. This was _ fast _, very fast, and if I wasn't so worked up already I might've tried to slow down. 

I came with a loud, short gasp, curling up slightly above Maria. She stopped moving and gently loosened her bite, moving her head back. 

\------------------------------

I growled to myself, angrily pulling on wires. The stupid newbie forgot to check if the backup generator’s wiring was up to date, so of course _ I _ had to fix it after our supervisor chewed him out. 

_ Secondary technician my ass, _ I thought, _ they only give me higher priority missions when no one else is available, can’t even- _

“Hey, Kolta?”

“What is it?”

Bobbi’s eyebrows went up at my tone. 

“What bit you?”

“Nothing. Bad day. What is it?”

“I was just going to ask if you could run an encryption for me, but now I'm worried. What's up?”

I sighed, gently setting my wire strippers down. I grasped the edge of the table in front of me and stood, keeping my weight in my right leg. The brace creaked and Bobbi nodded slowly. 

“Ah.”

“Yeah. I just woke up and it-it just decided to go haywire. Nearly took a crutch too.”

**

I fumbled angrily with the straps, blinking back tears. Everyone else had gone for that day, something I was immensely glad for. This damn thing was being difficult and it was already frustratingly hard to go up stairs. I was lucky, though. Even though the doctor had said it would rarely get this bad, I had kept my brace.

It was putting me in such a bad mood that I had texted Maria and told her I would being sleeping at my apartment for the night instead of the safehouse so I could update security measures. I felt a bit bad about lying, but I really didn’t want her to see me like this.

“Kolta?”

I sighed, setting my back bag down on my desk.

_ Of course. Of course she hasn’t left yet. That would be too easy, wouldn’t it? _

“Hey, M...Commander.”

_ I don’t know what I did, God or gods or whatever, but cut me some slack here. _

“I didn’t know you had injured your leg again. What happened?”

“I-I just aggravated it. It’ll be fine in a few days, the muscles just need to heal.”

“Aggravated it doing what? Walking up stairs? You told me you weren’t doing heavy leg days.”

I felt my cheeks flush. There _ was _ another possible explanation that I didn’t really want to explore, but...it was the most likely.

_ Nope. Not bringing that up. Ever. _

“Um...no. It’s not important, I just-I need to get home.”

Maria frowned and took a step closer, glancing around to make sure we were alone.

“Kolta, can you even drive like this? Why don’t I drive you to the safehouse, you can rest there and do your tech stuff later. I can-”

“I’m not helpless, Maria! I don't need you to-”

I closed my mouth quickly, turning away.

“Sorry. Sorry, I just...I _ really _ hate this, _Commander_. I get that having a brace is supposed to be cool and all, like “Oh I got shot and lived.” Didn’t lose the leg. But by _ god _ I’m sick of the pitying looks. I’m an agent and technician, not a stupid _ intern_.”

It was quiet. 

**

“I’m sorry I yelled.”

“I was...I’m also afraid.”

“Of?”

I swallowed, 

“What if I can’t keep up with you?”

“No, it's just- ever since New York, ever since...Coulson, I just-I feel like you’re in this big action movie and I just have to watch. Like I won't be able to help you when you need it or you'll realize that...I’m…”

I shrugged helplessly, blinking hard. 

“That I can't...can't always run properly, or fight off enemies, or understand thermonuclear astrophysics. That I'm not as...good as you.”

“Oh...baby, no, no.”

I looked away and she scooted closer, pulling on my legs. 

“Hey, come on. All that stuff doesn't matter to me. I don't care if you'll lose to ten-year-old or if you can out-box Captain America. And thermonuclear astrophysics is overrated. Kol, you're great at managing technology and hardware, and figuring out problems, and arranging a room, and-and you're charming, you're considerate, you're practically trilingual if you work on your French, and you're one of the sweetest people I've ever met,” she finished, holding my hands in hers. 

\------------------------------

Once in a blue moon, I get a full weekday off. Today was one of those days, and I had just had a nice shower when I got a text from Maria, saying she was headed back early. Puzzled, I asked why, but all she said was that she had gotten permission from Fury to take some of the day off. I shrugged and continued my cleaning for the day, making a quick decision to brew some more coffee before she got back. 

I heard the door open and close, the lock system beeping twice to ensure the security. Since she had elected to come home early, I had guessed she was stressed or angry about something, so I got out budget papers. Filing those normally gave some of her frustration a vent. 

I was only wearing shorts and a tank top, so I was not prepared for the attack. 

“Hey baby, how was w-”

I dropped the papers as Maria grabbed my shirt and slammed me back into the wall. Her mouth was on mine, then my neck before I could register it. She pressed a leg between mine and I dropped my head back, the heat firing up my senses. 

Maria suddenly crouched down and I shrieked when she lifted me up by my thighs, flailing. I put a hand on the wall for balance and one on her shoulder, letting her guide my legs around her waist. 

“Wh-whoa, whoa-”

“Can you balance like this?” She asked quickly, and I gaped for a moment. I had only been picked up like this twice, and although I knew Maria was strong this was...well, besides a turn on, this was unexpected. 

“Y-yeah but-”

“Is this okay?”

I floundered for a moment, thinking. 

“I mean…”

I gestured vaguely and swallowed; it wasn't like I wasn't aroused, just surprised. 

“Hi? How are you? What's wrong? A few of those things come to-”

She kissed me again and turned and I clung to her shoulders, rolling my eyes. 

“Hello, angry, and angry again,” she responded, and I just reached back to open the bedroom door. 

Maria pulled back and I took a breath as she tore at my shorts. 

“Maria, why-”

She kissed me again and I let her slide her hand under my waistband, pressing over my underwear. This wasn't the first time I had been grabbed roughly after a long day. I understood Maria’s need to get energy out, to get mad or take control. I didn't have it often, and when I did it normally didn't drive me to frantic sex. For Maria, though, this was what she enjoyed and I liked it plenty as well. After the first time it happened, she had stressed that I could say no or use colors any times I wanted, that it wasn't my responsibility to let it. I had told her it was normally hot enough to get me ready real quick. 

“What was it this time? That-that set you off?”

“Lot of things.”

I groaned as she pulled back and shoved my torso down onto the bed. This was the sex that gave me bruises and Maria a back full of scratches. She leaned over me, grabbing my right wrist with her left hand and pushing it up above my head. I could barely move it if I tried, and she kept the weight on there. 

“_Fuck_,” I groaned, already breathing quickly. I dug my nails into her shirt and scrabbled at her shoulder blades, trying to find a good grip. Her torso was hovering above me, legs tangled with mine and I had to shut my eyes against the image for fear of being overwhelmed. 

“Are you sure I caught you off guard?”

I furrowed my brows together. 

“Wh-wha-”

“You're already _ wrecked _ for me.”

I whined softly in surprise. It had been hours, I didn't think she would notice. 

“I-I may have...a few hours ago…but...it's all cause of you, I swear, all-it's all-”

“Mm...I love that image. You laying here and touching yourself. I know you're just as quiet when that happens.”

She moved her fingers up to my clit and I writhed, legs trembling. 

“Mari-”

“I woke up one time to you getting yourself off. You were trying to be really still, I could tell.” I turned my head to the side, dragging my nails down her back and groaning at the bite I got for it. “The noises you make...are probably the best part. It's mostly just a different sort of breathing, but sometimes you let these little whimpers out and it's just..._mmm_.”

“Holy fuck-”

“I can tell that you're close, baby, come on.”

“M-Mari-fuck-”

I felt my legs tremble as I bent them around her, breathing desperately out of my nose. 

“Fuck-please-”

“Come on and let go for me, baby.”

I gasped and arched my back up, squeezing my eyes shut. It was intense. Maria’s fingers slowed their movements but didn't stop yet, and I felt a softer whine pour out of my throat. 

I absently registered her thighs moving off of me, weight shifting towards the end of the bed. 

I felt a hand brush my side and groaned when a tongue slid down my stomach. 

“Wait, M-Maria, oh _ fuck_-”

I wasn't used to being pushed so hard after not coming down yet, so there was pain mixed with the pleasure. I whimpered as I slid both my hands into her hair, trying not to pull. 

“Do you like this?”

“Ye-yeah, Maria please, oh god,”

The groan that tore from my throat was guttural and loud. I wasn't normally loud, but the pressure in my stomach was causing spots in my vision and making my back spasm. Maria’s words and taunts had succeeded in whipping me into a frenzy, one I was all too ready to coast out on. 

I was panting as she pushed herself up, running her hands up my thighs and torso and squeezing where she wanted.

“No no no, M-Maria, _ stop_, stop, red…”

She froze and I sighed gratefully, still trying to regulate my breathing. 

“Did I hurt you?”

Maria slowly pulled back and I winced, trembling as my muscles tensed and tried to relax. 

“Not-not really, I just can't...ah, _ god_…”

I was getting lightheaded and cursed my lack of water. Being dehydrated and then worn out suddenly was making me feel faint. 

“Just...can't,” I panted, and she nodded quickly.

“Okay.”

I focused on my breathing as she kissed my temple, then my cheek, and finally my lips. I relaxed into it and looped an arm around her neck, drawing it out. 

“Thank you,” she whispered, and I nodded slowly. 

“Want some water?”

“That would be great, actually.”

I gingerly pulled my socks off as she walked out and tossed them to the floor with my bra. The covers were loose already, so I pulled them over me and straightened out. 

My veins were positively thrumming and I let out a content hum. As…intimidating as it could be, I knew Maria’s moods wouldn't make her really hurt me. 

Maria came back in, a bottle of water in each hand. She had taken off her jacket and shoes at some point. 

“Hey,” she said softly, passing me a bottle and sitting down. I sat up, holding the covers to my chest, and took a big swallow. My throat was dry and yet the rest of me was still awake. I looked over at Maria, who was pulling her hair out of its bun, and smiled. 

“Come here.”

She raised an eyebrow at my tone but complied, slipping under the covers. 

“Don't you want to sleep?”

“Well…”

I slid my hand down her stomach and held the burning gaze as my fingers slipped between her legs. Her eyes fluttered a little as I gently rubbed over the warm part of the fabric, resisting the urge to tease. 

“I can stay awake for a few more minutes.”

Maria hummed and closed her eyes fully, not resisting as I slowly undid her zipper, careful not to touch. 

“What, don't have a comeback?”

“Please just touch me,” Maria whined, and I smirked. 

“At least you asked nicely.”

“Kol-”

She jerked a little as I slid my hand into her underwear, cupping but not stroking yet. 

“Why don't I return the favor in a less aggressive way?”

“Please do,” Maria muttered against my lips, and I settled on top of her. 

**

“I got you something.”

I tilted my head to the side, stretching my arms out in front of me. Maria had disappeared a moment ago, leaving me sprawled along the bed in my post coital haze. 

“As flattered as I am, I don't think my body can take much more,” I groaned, burying my head in a pillow. 

“Get your head out of the gutter. I got you this,” she said, draping herself across my back. I felt a tickle on my wrist and looked up to see her dangling a chain from her fingers. It was a bracelet, I could tell, but looked more like loose chain. The links were small and silver but twisted carefully. 

“This is...it's so beautiful. Hold on.” 

I turned my head to peer at her. 

“Is this an apology for something? Did you break my laptop?”

I reeled back, grinning. 

“Don't tell me this is a proposal.”

Maria rolled her eyes and nipped my shoulder, making me jump. 

“No to all of those. I just wanted to get you something nice, okay? Last few weeks have been tough and I've had to do a lot of work with the Avengers, so...I guess it is a bit of an apology. I’m sorry you had to come home alone so often.”

I paused and turned so I was properly facing her. 

“Come...home?”

She blinked and started, flushing a bit. 

“I...I didn't mean…”

“I like it.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” I whispered back, and leaned up to kiss her. Maria slid a hand up my side to my collarbone, humming contently. The hand with the bracelet grasped my wrist, tugging. I rolled my eyes and pulled away, offering her my forearm. 

Maria undid the clasp and pulled it around my wrist, making sure it was tight before snapping it shut. 

“Good fit.”

“Mhmmmmm...come here.”

\------------------------------

CHAPTER 4 below

\------------------------------

Post marriage(and proposal)

Maria was the one who proposed. Considering the dynamics of our relationship, I shouldn't’ve been surprised. I was more surprised that she wanted to get married than anything else. What we had was strong, but not anything legally binding. 

Clearly, that was important to her on some level. I just wanted her to be mine and for her to know I was hers, marriage contract be damned. Calling her my “wife” did give me a kind of thrill, though. 

We were out for a walk after a date I hadn't seen coming but was pleasantly surprised by. It was a Sunday, and the fact that Maria didn't try to go into work and do any paperwork really should’ve tipped me off. She was a bit nervous during dinner, which wasn't like her, but gave the excuse of stomach pains. 

I suggested we try walking it off and she leapt at the idea, and here we were in the park ten minutes later. She had slipped her hand into mine at some point, nodding at the darkened park cameras. 

“That's not good, did-”

“Wasn't me. Let's just value this, though, okay?”

I narrowed my eyes as she smiled, but allowed myself to be pulled along. It was nice to do this, though I was still a bit wary of any casual passerby whose eyes lingered on us. Maria swung our arms a bit and a led me over to a fountain. She dropped my hand and we sat on the edge of the fountain. 

“So...I’ve been thinking. Um, see, we’re…”

I did a double take. I had _ never _ seen her hesitate so much, not even when talking to terrorists. 

“What's wrong? Do you...is something wrong?”

“No, no, nothing’s wrong. You're the best girlfriend, Kol, I mean it,” she rushed to assure me, and then stood. 

“See, it's dumb. It's really, properly dumb. But I just...I thought about it, you know? And it's not as big of a deal as people make it, just a bit of legal binding thrown in. It would still be...us. Just more...official.”

Realization was beginning to dawn on me. 

“Maria, a-are you trying to…? To...”

“Just...hold on. I made, you know, a speech and such, to my sister, who nearly fell out of her seat at first, and..._ phew _, this is harder aloud, isn't it? I...okay. Kolta.”

She turned towards me, meeting my eyes and looking away nervously. Maria was _ never _ this nervous. 

“You are just...just the most caring person I know. You're smart, what with the designs and the technology and the languages, really with the languages-and you know about the job stress, you're patient, you know how to cheer me up and actually hold a conversation, whether it be movies or philosophy or astrophysics of the thermonuclear variety, your love of books and movies is close to mine, you're funny, you’re sweet and thoughtful, you can actually make food that's not toast, you're really quite cute when we-um, are together, and, uh, I just-I just wanted to ask you if...if you wanted to...to...be my...wife. As in...get married. To me.”

She pulled a box out of her pocket, slowly opening it. 

“Does this mean that there are going to be two Agent Hill's(^) now?” 

Maria laughed and dropped her head onto my shoulder, 

“I'm still a Commander, technically, but yes. There are now two of us. If you want that. My name, that is.”

I smiled, wrapping my arms around her neck. 

“I would love that.”

She smiled shyly. 

(^)How tf would you say two of Agent Hill? Agent Hills, Agent Hill’s, “Agent Hill”s: WTF.

\------------------------------

“We got married.”

Maria looked over at me, pensive. 

“Yeah. I mean, you said yes.”

“I know, I know. I don't regret it, I'm just...thinking.”

“Oh boy.”

“Thinking isn't bad! Just...thinking.”

\------------------------------

Bobbi is a good friend. It's a fact I constantly have to remind myself of whenever she comes over to the safehouse, kicks her shoes off, and asks when the “girl I'm whipped for” will be back. 

She’s bi, but hasn't dated many people besides Hunter. If you ask, she’ll tell you with pride, but it's never brought up at work. 

“And who are you running from this time?”

“Can't I visit my old buddy?”

“Not when you have powder burns on your wrist you can't.” 

She groaned, standing and heading to the sink. 

“It’s nothing, I promise, I just need to be away from cameras for a little while.”

“So you chose one of the most secretive, well-guarded safe houses in the entire city to hide out in. Really?”

“Okay, I was also a bit bored. What's up with you and your illicit affair?” 

I flushed indignantly. 

“It is neither illicit nor an affair!”

Bobbi narrowed her eyes and I shifted to make sure my ring was out of sight. 

“What happened?”

“Nothing happened!”

“...Kolta. Don't make me send her those pictures of you asleep at your desk.”

“Okay, okay, we...kinda...um, we got...we got married, if you _ must _ know, and-”

“You did _ what_?! Married? My friend is married! Oh my god, when where you gonna tell me!”

I groaned, grinning despite myself. 

**

“I mean, I noticed it, yeah, but I assumed it was a promise ring, and I guess the name change hasn't gone through the databank yet. I really don't get how they haven't put it together. You got your _ name _ changed and Maria started wearing a wedding band. Come on, at least Fury or some HR official has put it together by now.”

It wasn't too odd that none of my coworkers ever asked me if I was married. I wore my ring on a necklace under my shirt cause it interfered with typing. 

We hadn't really had a wedding, just a small signing ceremony and party. It was during one of our only weeks off. Maria had been injured and I requested leave to deal with “personal matters.”

No one at work had seemed to realize that Maria’s ring had only begun to appear after that instance. 

It was a simple band, a mix of silver and copper with peridot in it. Mine was bronze with lapis lazuli. They matched us, color and metal-wise. Maria had been hesitant to have me buy her an engagement ring as well as the band, but I insisted on it. I had been thinking about it, but never got past eyeing a few choices. 

“I mean, probably. It's not a very big jump to assume.”

“You got your last name changed, don't tell me no one noticed.”

I shrugged. 

“So...what, did you guys shotgun it or just sign papers, or…?”

“Uh, we had a small party with Maria’s sister and one of my older friends, and then just...signed it. Left engaged in the morning, was married by that night. Come to think of it, we weren't even engaged a whole month before it happened.”

**

“Don't say anything dumb, Bobbi. She can fire both of us.”

“Relax, I'm not that much of an idiot.”

**

“So. Have you guys christened every room of the safe house yet?”

I choked on my beer and doubled over, coughing into my sleeve. Maria was silent for a moment, then she chuckled. 

“Not quite.”

“M-Maria,” I hissed, already red. Bobbi was cackling as I slapped her shoulder. 

\------------------------------

“Coulson’s back.”

I looked up, furrowing my eyebrows when I saw she was serious. 

“He’s...what?”

“Back.”

“But he...died.”

“And now he's back.”

“...oh.”

I leaned back on the couch, opening and closing my mouth. 

“He’s just…?”

“Yeah.”

“Well.”

“The plane is for his new team, by the way.”

“Wait, the one I'm working on?”

“Yeah.”

“Oh god.”

\------------------------------

I awoke to the smell of rust and a burning in my chest. My arms were bound to a chair with chains and my legs were tingly. 

“She’s up.”

A hand fisted my hair and yanked my head up. I groaned as I cracked an eye open, a bright light shining down from above me. My last memory was setting down the keys to my apartment on the kitchen counter, looking over at the moving boxes, and then…

“Chloroform. Right?”

Someone chuckled and my head was released. I shifted my legs forwards and my shoulders back, blinking a few times against the light. I could feel the fear rising in my chest, but I tried to push it down. If I let myself get worked up, these guys would crack me in minutes. 

“What do you know of SHIELD protocol Delta?”

“Don't know it. Who are you?” I shot back, making out a figure in the dark. The room I was in was small, no windows, just a light and a door on my left. I didn't know how long I had been unconscious, but it was likely under ten hours or so. 

“You are a SHIELD technician with level five clearance, I doubt that there are many protocols you don't know. It's a bit surprising that you left yourself so unprotected when you have access to sensitive information, but...that's a mistake you won't make again.”

I tilted my head as he spoke, flexing my hands. His eyes flickered and I turned to see another figure behind me, leaning against the wall. 

“We should hurry this up. Torturing women isn't my specialty,” the other man rasped, and I heard the _ click _ of a switchblade from behind me. 

“Yeah yeah,” the first guy muttered, and I tensed up as he stepped up to me and crouched down. 

“You are going to tell us two things. What the Delta protocol is, and how to access the records of it from SHIELD’s mainframe.”

“Wouldn't mainframe access itself be a good place to start?” I said, flinching when a pair of hands settled on my shoulders. The knife was clutched in the hand in my left shoulder, pointed down but away from me. 

“That was not what we requested. You’re going to tell him what he wants to know,” a voice uncomfortably close to my ear hissed, and I turned away from it. True panic was beginning to set in. 

“I-I don't know about the Delta protocol. I've never even heard of it.”

The man by my feet looked up at the one behind me and shrugged. 

I wasn't prepared for the punch across my jaw. 

I screwed my eyes tightly before forcing them open, gasping. 

“Protocol Delta. Tell us.”

“For Christ’s sake, man, I don't know!”

He socked me across the face again and I tasted blood in my mouth. 

“Look, I can-I can give you something else, but I really don't know about-”

He hit me in the gut this time and I doubled over, grunting as the man behind me pulled me back up. I struggled for air as the man in front of me waited, crossing his arms. 

“Protocol Delta.”

“We don't...don't have a...Delta, only Beta and...Gamma. I swear, I don't...know.”

He glared at me for a moment. 

“What about Alpha?”

I hesitated.

He slapped me across the face so hard I heard it echo. 

“You’re lying!”

I ducked my head down on instinct, afraid. I was shivering and starting to twitch against my will. The man behind me leaned forwards, pushing my shoulders down. 

“Put her under again.”

The guy in front of me scoffed but moved, and I pulled at the ropes by my wrist again. They were just too tight to budge. I heard the two whispering over by the corner, and finally one of them turned back to me with a syringe. 

I swallowed as he stepped up to me, pushing my head to the side. I bit my lip as the needle sunk into my neck and burned, a dizziness washing over me. 

_ This stuff is really...strong_, I thought as the room went dark. 

**

When I awoke, Bobbi and a set of guards were crouched above me. 

“Kolta! Kol! Can you hear me?”

I nodded, reaching up. She took my hand and yanked me up into a sitting position. I groaned at the head rush, skull throbbing. I wasn't in the chair or the room anymore. 

“What...where am I?”

This room was rocking, and it took me a moment to realize we were in the back of a van. 

“We’re heading back to headquarters. You were kidnapped by the Egyptians, Kolta. What did they want?”

“They...they wanted a protocol...for, um…”

I pressed a hand to my temple. The drugs they gave me had really shaken my brain. 

“Oh, um, a Greek letter...not Theta...it-it was...a new one…”

“Delta?”

“Yeah. Yeah, that one. I have no idea what it is, and they thought I would know...you need at least level five clearance to get that info, they said…”

My eyes dropped and I shook my head. The van turned and began to slow down. Bobbi looked up and

I blinked, surprised. Maria had told me, but I still…

“Yeah, I know. Dead and all that. I’d still like you to talk to me,” Coulson said, and I nodded quickly. 

“Sorry sir. It’s just...nevermind.”

“I heard about you and Maria.”

I looked up, head still lowered. His smile was...cheerful, yet a bit unsettling. 

“Congratulations.”

I leaned back in my chair, suddenly on edge. Would Maria have told him? Why?

“Thank you...sir.”

**

“Move in with me.”

I blinked in the darkness, unsure if I was awake. The clock said about two AM, a time when I definitely did not want to be awake. Knowing this, I turned, trying to make out Maria’s face. 

“I thought that...that was the plan? Like, um, gradually.”

“Well yes, but...I just...your apartment doesn't seem safe anymore.”

I raised an eyebrow as I turned to face her and she backtracked. 

“I know you can handle yourself and that they drugged you, but-but Kolta please, just-think about it. I have cameras and a steel door and a SHIELD recovery team waiting for the alarm to go off. And I’d...I’d really like it if my _ wife _ lived with me now instead of a few months down the line?”

I smiled, pecking her on the cheek. 

“I can speed up the storage of things, but you're the one who has to tell HR, get me an owner’s key, and probably fill out a dozen forms.”

“That can all be arranged. Please? I just...this scared me a little. I wasn't nearby, I couldn't do anything until I got the call.”

I sighed, nodding. 

“That's true. Okay, okay, I’ll call up the storage place tomorrow. See if I can move that couch, maybe meet with my landlord...the lease still has a few weeks, and I don't know if he’ll budge on it.”

Maria slid an arm around my waist and pulled me closer, placing her head on top of mine. 

“Thank you.”

“Don't thank me. We haven't argued about laundry yet.”

She chuckled and tangled a leg with mine, exhaling slowly as I shut my eyes again. 

\------------------------------

I woke up and immediately shivered. Maria was absent from my side, and it was cold. I pulled the blanket tighter and fumbled for my backup glasses, which had taken residence on Maria’s bedside table. 

Her chest was flushed pink and she seemed to be breathing a little heavily. I tilted my head to the side and looked her up and down, meeting her eyes with confusion. 

“Are you...okay?”

“Yep.”

I narrowed my eyes. 

“You never say yep. What is this?”

“There’s nothing, it's nothing, I just...uh…”

She floundered for a moment and I took pity on her. 

“For a SHIELD agent, you're really bad at lying on the spot.”

Maria scoffed. 

“I was just...I got…” 

She gestured randomly and I slowly took a step closer. 

“Excited?”

She mumbled under her breath, looking to the side. 

“Come on.”

I took her wrist and pulled her back into the bedroom, grinning as she swallowed and allowed me to spin her towards the bed. Maria sat and laid back and I crawled over her, pulling my hair back quickly. 

“Does this happen often?”

Maria furrowed her eyebrows, shifting further up the bed. 

“You not waking me up and just...taking care of yourself.”

“Well...no, I just-you're sleeping off kidnapping tiredness and I was-I didn't want to put you in the situation of feeling you _ had _ to be in the mood, and…”

Maria shrugged and I smiled. 

“Well, thank you for your concern, but right now I am _ very _ much in the mood to help you out,” I said, 

I slid my hand down her stomach, pausing at the hem of her shorts. 

“Please, Kolta.”

“Jesus fu-” 

I watched as she clamped a hand over her mouth, head dropping back against the pillows. As hot as it was, I had other plans for that hand. 

“Bring these...down here,” I whispered, pressing the tips of her fingers against herself. Maria whined and tried to push back into my palm, but I pulled away. 

“Is this what you did with yourself?” I whispered, watching as she swallowed and bucked her hips down. 

“Yeah.”

Her voice was soft and I could see her fingers picking up speed. Two were dipping in and up while another was making desperate circles on her clit. 

**

“Do you log every time you masturbate?”

I choked on my toothbrush, leaving over the sink and hacking. Maria was holding my phone up by the door, waiting. 

“What the *cough* _ fuck_, Maria. What are you even *cough* talking about?”

“Your period app. You can log masturbation, apparently, and you have a lot of tick marks.”

I grabbed my phone from her and wiped my mouth with the back of my hand. It was true, I did log it, but it wasn't that often. 

“These are-okay, some of these are cramp markers, see, others are period-related. The rest...yeah. But it's only like...a fifth of the marks.”

She raised an eyebrow and I squirmed. 

“Maybe like a fourth. But look, they get less frequent as of a while ago, you know, the whole...moving in thing and stuff…and I normally don't have to...for a few days after…”

I groaned in frustration and gestured vaguely. 

“Why does it matter?”

“Well, you moving in is going to change our nightly routine, how often we sleep together, and how much privacy we have. I just...maybe we should talk about it. Sex and stuff.”

\------------------------------

The day Nick Fury “died,” everything, and nothing, changed. 

The outrage of the world and the intelligence community after the helicarrier crashes were massive. Captain America was in a weird state. SHIELD was crippled by HYDRA, and there were shootouts on every floor of the building. Including mine. 

I was in a server room when it happened. First the shouting, then a few shots of gunfire. I locked the door and shut out the lights, terrified. There was no way out, and going towards the guns unarmed was suicide. 

It felt cowardly, but it might help me live. 

The alarms started blaring as troops ran up and down the halls. They tried the door a few times, took a glance in the window. I was under a desk in the dark, and the glass was tinted. After a minute, someone shot at the door. 

The locks were heavy-duty and the door was steel, but if they had a battering ram or explosives, it wouldn't matter. I waited as they shot it out, a piece or two ricocheting into the computer terminals. 

“Bobbi!” I hissed, flinching when she turned her gun towards me. 

“Kolta, you're okay. Here, we’ve got to move,” she said quickly, offering me a pistol. I took it gingerly, keeping my finger clear of the trigger. 

“Come on, you've shot before,” she prodded me, raising my arms up and repositioning my hands. 

“Yeah, it's just been-”

There were shouts down the hallway and we both froze, ducking out of the doorway. 

**

I crouched down, breathing heavily. A look around showed no enemies, no helicopters. Bobbi and the other pair were watching, but seemed calmer. 

I took this as what might be my only chance. 

I stared at the screen, hoping. She was with Fury, but Fury had been killed. Widow had not been, neither had Captain. Maybe she was still with them. 

Finally, it beeped. Two-well, three-words. 

I’M OKAY.

I sighed and let myself drop back against the wall, sliding down to the floor. 

“Who did you send a message to?”

I looked up at Bobbi and held up the pager. 

“Maria. It's secure, I promise. Helped design it myself.”

“Hill? Er, other Hill. She should be-can you trace where the other one is?”

I shook my head sadly. 

“Don't want the enemy to be able to use this against us. That was her call, by the way,” I lamented, but Bobbi nodded. 

“It's a good point. If just a few more people had been HYDRA, who knows what would be happening right now.”

\------------------------------

I blinked. 

“A house party? Really?”

“Don't sound so skeptical.”

“Hon, if we invite even half these people we’ll have enough firepower to invade Hawaii and _ win _.”

She snorted, grabbing the list from me. We had just agreed on “hon” and “baby” as suitable pet names, and I was all too excited to use them. 

“Come on, we rarely do anything social with them. Connections build trust, and trust helps teamwork. Considering what just happened...I think we all need it.”

I rolled my eyes, turning back to my sketch. 

“We can pretend it's to celebrate the plane finally getting off the ground again.” 

“It always got off the ground, Maria, it just had trouble _ staying _ off the ground.”

She groaned and I relented, leaning back to look at her over the couch. 

“You actually want to have a girls party?”

“Well yes, but if my missus isn't so inclined, I'm not gonna force you.”

Her words were resigned and I slowly pushed myself up off the couch. 

“Perhaps...if you let me narrow down the list...and it's in over two weeks from now...then maybe we could have a...small gathering.”

Maria smirked at me, sipping from her mug. 

“Deal.”

**

Dinner was surprisingly easy to arrange. Being a high-level official, Maria could plan for a day when everyone was in town and off-call, which didn't happen often. 

Still, getting them to agree to convene in one location for something so..._ frivolous _ was my main concern. 

Almost everyone was early. Simmons and Skye carpooled, Bobbi was early so she could go over some sketches with me, Melinda just kind of appeared, and Pepper pulled up with five minutes to spare. 

It was a little odd at first, since although I was constantly working on the plane, I hadn't interacted with Melinda or Skye much. I knew them by reputations and a few brief conversations. Simmons I had really talked to before, but only about the plane and how to improve upon it. 

We had agreed to try and not be obvious about our relationship for the sake of security, so before the guests came over we made sure we got any lingering “handsyness” out of the way. Bobbi was sworn to secrecy about it, and I was monitoring her alcohol level so she didn't get too drunk and spill. 

“Dinner’s ready!”

“Oh, yay.”

“Hey Kolta, is Maria’s cooking good?”

“I'd say so, yeah.”

“If she said anything besides yes, she’d get kicked out.”

“Big table for a safe house,” Pepper murmured thoughtfully. 

“Tell me about it. I told Fury it would probably never be used, but he insisted on it.”

Maria waved to May and she reluctantly went to go help with the dishes that lined the kitchen counter. 

“Hey Kolta, can you help me in here too?”

“Sure thing.”

“Whipped,” Bobbi coughed, smirking at me. 

**

“Hey Kolta, you live here right?”

I paused. 

“Yeah. I'm the roommate. Why?” 

“Well…” Skye leaned on the counter next to me, and I felt Simmons come up behind me. 

“You have a wedding band over your keys, there's no pictures of _ just _ you, and no one else lives here but the _ other _ Agent Hill...so…”

I sighed, catching Bobbi grinning from the couch. 

“You've caught us, I suppose,” my wife said, peeking out from the kitchen. 

“Aww!”

“That's so cute!”

I shook my head, trying to gather cups as Simmons waved her hands frantically. 

“To be honest, with how you two act around each other, I'm not that surprised.”

“Oh please, Coulson dropped hints every other time Commander Hill was in the room. So you took her name or did she take yours? Cause that would be one heck of a coincidence to both be “Mrs. Hill.”

“Wait, Couls-”

“I took hers, Simmons. It was a while ago, back before either of you really knew me.”

“Her name used to be Winders. She really traded up.” Bobbi called from the couch, grinning. Melinda raised an eyebrow but said nothing, returning to her game of cards against Pepper.

“Kol, where did you put the wine opener?”

“By the fruit bowl,” I called back, and Skye squealed. 

“She calls you Kol, that's so cute.”

I looked back and forth between them, scoffing. 

“You do know I'm older than you, right? Like, not a young twenty-something who still goes crazy over cute things?”

“Oh, but what about that pair of fuzzy socks you love? Or that huge rainbow t-shirt?”

“That's because they're yours. And it's not huge, it's long. It’s nearly a dress on you,” I mumbled as Maria wrapped her arms around my waist, and the younger two melted. 

“Can't say I didn't see something suspicious,” I heard Agent May muttered, grinning at her cards. 

“What was that?”

“Nothing. I just remembered that one time you came to repair the wing support and were rather curiously injured. With...indentations on your wrists.”

I frowned. “What do you mea-”

Maria snorted in my ear, clamping a hand over her mouth, and I groaned. 

**

_ “Are you sure this is good? Feeling in the right headspace?” _

_ “Yeah. All green, I promise.” _

_ Maria ran her fingers over my face, holding my gaze. I flexed my arms once, tugging on the cuffs to test the feel. I felt a bit exposed with just my bra and shorts on, but part of why this was intense was the trust. The lights were dim but still on, and I could feel her eyes on my body. _

_ “I hope you didn't plan on a tough workout tomorrow.” _

_ “Cause I'm gonna be sore?” _

_ “No, cause you're gonna get about...three right now.” _

_ I laughed as she kissed my forehead, working her way down to my neck. She hovered around my collarbone for a while, then slowly kissed down my side. _

_ I groaned as she placed a kiss on my stomach, looking back up at me. _

_ “Green.” _

_ “Good.” _

_ I was indeed sore the next day. _

_ ** _

“That...was _ not_...Bobbi, stop laughing and get your mind out of the gutter, that wasn't…”

Simmons seemed confused while Skye and Bobbi were dying with laughter at my expense. Melinda was, surprisingly, chuckling to herself as she observed the others. Pepper just grinned, sipping her wine. Maria smiled against my neck, rubbing my shoulders as I crossed my arms. I felt flushed and huffy and I bet I looked it too. 

“_Fuck _ you, Bobbi. And you too, Melinda, to an extent.”

“What did I do?”

“You're always prying into things! You probably told Melinda that-that _ stuff _ , which I'm still saying is made up. And you're too _ tall _, dammit, I'm not used to being the shorter friend!”

“Baby, I'm Bobbi’s height with my heels on.”

“Last I checked I wasn't _ married _ to _ Bobbi_, that's different.”

**

“Admit it. That wasn't too terrible.”

I shrugged, stacking the plates in the sink. 

“I am a little surprised at how...relaxed everyone was.”

Maria hummed and wrapped her arms around my shoulders, pressing a kiss onto my neck. 

“Finish up the dishes and come to bed? I want to cuddle.”

“Mm, I wonder what the others would think if they knew how soft _ Commander Hill _ really was.” I cackled, jumping as she smacked my butt. 

“Well hurry up, _ Agent _Hill, or I'm gonna go straight to sleep.”

\------------------------------

When the door slammed, I knew there was trouble. 

“And every single time I put him under someone else, they request a transfer within weeks! Honestly, I'm running out of departments that'll take him. We need to get him to stop with the screwed mission reports, or just fire him. Understood?”

I slowly sipped my tea as she stormed out of the hallway, dropped her phone on the table, and sighed dramatically. 

“Rough day?”

She gave me a look. 

“Okay, come here.”

I patted the couch next to me and she plopped down with a huff. I beamed. The first time I ever tried that, she simply growled into the air and stormed into her room. It took a little convincing, but she finally agreed to let me try and calm her when she got like this. It was killer on her blood pressure. 

I pulled my legs up into the couch and turned to face her

  


“Care to try something?”

I blinked.

“Like...what?”

“Don’t worry, it’s nothing extreme.”

“I’m worried.”

Maria _ tsked _ at me and began to sit up. I kept my eyes on her as she wrapped her arms around my neck and went to nibble on my ear. 

“You remember when we messed around on your birthday two years ago?”

I felt my body burn at the memory. 

“When...we, uh...yeah.”

“Well, I _ may _ have relocated that thing to my drawer.”

“Ah. And you’d like to…?”

“Would you wear it? I kind of have a...position in mind…”

She slowly dragged her tongue down my neck and I nodded quickly. 

Maria reached over and turned off the lamp, and I quietly thanked her. I knew she didn't have a strong preference for the lights on or off, but I-especially when we were trying something new like this-much preferred feeling and listening over seeing. 

I took hold of her hips and moved slowly, teasing first. I knew she was ready, it wasn't a question of that, but I made little adjustments to my posture and changed the angle. 

“Mmm…fuck.”

We hadn't done this since two years ago, and while I know Maria had some smaller toys for herself, this was...more. 

“Good?”

I ran my hands over her back and she nodded, pushing against my thighs. 

\------------------------------

“Kol.”

“Can't hear you.”

“This is childish.”

“Too bad.”

I heard her growl and then sigh, placing her hands on my shoulders. I had my arms crossed and was facing the wall, eyes closed. 

“I'm sorry I tossed out your figures, I didn't realize.”

I grumbled softly but didn't move. 

“I have an amazing and nice wife who will forgive me for this? She's also the most beautiful woman I know and has made me ruin a set of underwear.”

I turned and flapped my arms slightly, flustered. 

“I-okay! Good to know!”

Maria smiled and pecked me on the cheek, and I crossed my arms again. 

“Well...you were mostly right,” I muttered. “But _ I _ have the most beautiful wife ever.”

She rolled her eyes. 

“Sap.”

“You said it first.”

\------------------------------

I awoke to the sound of muffled voices and noticed that Maria has switched the sound dampener on. I grabbed Maria’s pistol from the bedside table, hastily pulling on an undershirt and sweatpants. Nudging the bedroom door open, I caught sight of my wife’s back in the kitchen. 

I inched forwards, seeing the shadow of a tall figure looming next to her. 

_ Intruders? _

_ How had they caught her unawares without waking me? _

“You can come out now, Agent Hill.”

I froze. 

“Director?”

I stepped into the kitchen and immediately regretted it as I was met with the sight of a pair of very disheveled Asgardians, Captain America, and Tony Stark all huddled around my dinner table. 

Maria was rubbing her temples as she turned to face me, a sure sign that something was wrong. 

“Um, what-why-”

“You might want to get fully dressed for this, Kolta. It's going to take a while.”

**

After I got dressed and checked the safehouse’s perimeter, I doled out drinks and some medicine to the heroes. I could feel Stark’s eyes on me as Fury gave us a breakdown of the attack and the response plan. 

It wasn't until Maria turned to me and gestured to the counter that I realized I still had my ring on. I couldn't suddenly remove it, so I settled for putting my hand in my pocket and keeping it there as much as I could. 

It was already kind of suspicious that I had slept over, as no one but director Fury knew that I was assigned here. Everyone had probably guessed already that something was going on. 

It wasn't...it wouldn't exactly be bad if we were known. There were rules about co-workers being involved, but married and functioning well was different. Plus, Fury had essentially overlooked this minor thing in favor of keeping us both at maximum productivity.

Telling people wasn’t a huge problem anymore. All the girls knew now, so it was more the general agency population, the male Avengers, and Maria’s mom. Not that everyone in those categories would care.

I shivered. That woman had been terrifying the one time I had accidentally met her. I had no desire to repeat the experience, and neither did Maria. 

**

At one point, I found the female Asgardian, Sif, looking at a picture of me and Maria. 

“You two are betrothed?”

“Married, actually. Just about a year ago.”

“Called it,” I heard, and simply raised my eyebrow as Stark sauntered into the room, eating a bag of trail mix. 

“Don't get that on the carpet, she goes nuts over crumbs.”

“Called what, Sir Stark?”

“Them. Being together. Well, actually, I called Maria being together with someone from engineering, not you specifically. Close enough, though.”

I shrugged. 

“I mean, the ring may have been obvious…”

“Yeah, that and the fact that the only time I've ever seen her really smile-seriously, the only time-was after she went down to the engineering department with me to monitor me, then disappeared and came back 10 minutes later with some BS excuse. Plus, she didn't wake you when we got here, and Fury ordered all hands on deck, so either he didn't know or she was using whatever power she had to shield you. No pun intended.”

Sif chuckled and set the photo back down, giving me a pat on the back. 

“You have done well, Kolta. You remind me of my old mate...although shorter.”

I bristled, but sighed soon afterwards. 

“Thank you, Lady Sif. Excuse me, I'll just...be over here,” I mumbled, sulking back to the kitchen. Maria was whispering to the director about something, so I turned on my heel and walked right back out. I came to a quick stop, however, when I almost bumped into Captain America.

“Whoa. Uh, sorry.”

“No problem.”

We stood there awkwardly for a moment as I leaned back against the wall and he clasped his hands together. After a moment of looking around, he cleared his throat. 

“This is, uh...nice.”

“Thank you. Ma-Commander Hill picked out all the colors and such.”

“Ah.”

He rocked back and forth, glancing at the floor. 

“I have to say, I'm...happy with some of the changes the world has made over the last seventy years. It's a lot more accepting, a lot nicer in some regards.”

I smiled. 

“It's probably really weird for you, growing up with...little knowledge of this stuff and then...it's all over the news in a positive light and...yeah.”

\------------------------------

“I don't need glasses!”

“Maria-”

“The doctor doesn't know what he’s talking about. I'm thirty-six, why would I need them now?”

“That’s-that's the point, Maria. Your eyes are wearing out because you spend so much time reading and writing reports. It's pretty normal, really, and it's only for reading.”

Maria huffed and tried to roll over, but I kept my head on her stomach. 

“I’ll look like an old woman.”

“Oh, so I look like an old woman with my glasses on?” I teased. 

“That's not-”

“I see how it is, Mrs Hill.”

“Oh come on, Kolta.”

I smiled as she rolled her eyes at me. 

“It's a tactical disadvantage. Like if I waited for you to change your contacts then ambushed you before you put them in.”

“You're right. It is. But your ability to read up close shouldn't inhibit you during combat. It's just for office hours.”

Maria sighed dramatically and dropped her head back, linking her fingers on the pillow. 

“Well, mind distracting me while I accept my fate?”

I chuckled and pushed her shirt up her stomach, rubbing the bare skin. 

“And how would I do that?” I said, giving her navel a kiss. 

“I don't know. Get creative. Problem solve,” she mocked, and pulled one leg up to make room for me. 

“Yes ma’am.”

\------------------------------

I froze in place as my eyes took in the elderly woman by Bobbi’s side. 

“Ms...Ms Hill. S-so nice to see you again,” I stammered, shooting Bobbi a confused hand signal. 

“Ah, Kolta. Finally, someone rational. I was explaining to this young lady that I wanted to see Maria, do you know where she is?”

“Oh, um, she's actually in a very important meeting right now, Ms Hill. If you like, you c-could wait for her in the lobby and I'll make sure she comes to see you afterwards?”

She smiled at me, patting my shoulder. 

“Thank you dear. I-oh! I see you got engaged, how lovely.”

Bobbi’s eyes went wide and I glared at her as she muffled her laughter. 

“Who's the lucky man?”

“Uh, I'm-I’m married, actually. It's just a guy d-down in the tech department, no one you know. We dated for a few y-years and just...yeah. Let me-let me go check on the status of the meeting. Bobbi can show you to a waiting area.”

**

As soon as the meeting was officially over, I rushed into the conference room. 

“Commander Hill, there's something that needs your attention as soon as possible,” I blurted. Maria looked surprised but followed me nonetheless. 

“Your mother is here. Give me your ring, now, she already knows I'm married and if she knows you are too she may flip because you never told her and even though she may not make the connection that woman already terrifies me so-”

I mumbled in surprise as Maria covered my mouth with a hand and pushed me into a single bathroom. 

“She's here?!”

I nodded. 

“And she wants to see me?”

I nodded again. 

“Oh Christ.”

I mumbled in agreement. 

“Bobbi is keeping her in the lobby but she won't be stalled forever. Please just give me your ring and go?”

She sighed heavily and leaned into me, rubbing my shoulders. 

“That woman is going to give me a heart attack. Alright, I'll deal with her. Seal yourself into some unknown corner of the base and don't come out until I give the all clear.”

I nodded and she gave me a peck on the forehead before turning to leave. 

“Wait!”

“What?”

“Ring!”

\------------------------------

CHAPTER 6 below

\------------------------------

I tilted the bottle to the side, studying it carefully. Beer bottles all looked the same. I knocked back the last of this one and placed it by the other two. 

This was as close as I got to drunk. I was tipsy and maybe hazy, but never drunk. 

I pushed myself off the table and stood. My apartment was almost bare, save for the the table, chairs, and the six pack I had bought. All the rest of my stuff had been moved to the safe house, stored, or sold. 

I didn't say anything on the car ride back, and was too buzzed to worry about the glances Maria was sending me. 

As soon as we got back, I trudged into our room and collapsed onto the couch. I heard Maria put the bottles away and enter behind me with cautious footsteps. 

“What happened?”

“...my mom called.”

“Oh.”

She crouched down at the edge of the couch by my head, draping an arm over me. 

“I told you about my parents divorcing and remarrying and my stepmom being a control freak and my stepdad being suicidal, right?”

“Yeah.”

“And I mentioned my brother...brother before, right?”

“Only briefly.”

I closed my eyes and sighed deeply. 

“I know you've read my personal background file. You know he's dead.”

She nodded slowly, placing a kiss on my temple. 

“Today is the anniversary. 20 years ago today some jerk ran a red light and just...”

“Oh Kol…”

“My parents were going crazy with bills and I just...had to step up, you know? I became responsible. Kept track of keys and put off homework and sleep to help them...”

I slowly closed my mouth. I’d told this story in my head before, and knew how it always ended. Maria nodded, tightening her grip on me and rocking back and forth. 

“You were so strong, Kol. It's okay. None of it is your fault, and you tried and you did well. It's okay.”

I nuzzled into her neck and didn't say anything. I was so...worn out. 

“I just want to go to sleep.”

“Yeah. Yeah, let's go to bed, baby.”

\------------------------------

I rubbed my chin. 

“I mean...you know I've already filed for less time, but leaving completely…”

I began to pace. 

“SHIELD just...isn't safe anymore. Working for Stark, surprisingly, is the best option. I'm already...um, I applied for a job with him this morning,” she muttered. 

“What the-mmmmm, okay. Why...okay. 

“Are you upset?”

“I-you applied for a new job without telling me, I'm just...okay, maybe a little annoyed. I wouldn't’ve said no or anything but-I do wish we could’ve discussed it first.”

Maria sighed, fiddling with her thumbs. 

“Stark has been showing me the stats on SHIELD for the last few months. We both know it's collapsing, and he wants someone who has strong enough ties to be useful while still being able to actually help the technological part of his company. I realized that I couldn't keep him waiting forever and decided...it's a good investment. I'm sorry I didn't ask you first, it was right at the beginning of the office hours. I'm technically still employed with SHIELD right now. Papers are going through.”

Lot of shit happened here I think

\------------------------------

_ I don't know why he even included stairs, _ I thought ruefully. 

_ Then again, if not for the stairs… _

I pushed through the door to the main room, wheezing. So many goddamn stairs. 

“Kolta?”

_ Aaaaand Maria was here as well. Forgot about the after party. _

I turned to Mr Stark, who looked at me curiously. I was assigned to watch over the assimilation program while he held his party, so no doubt he was wondering why I had abandoned that. 

“We need...evacuate. Program...kinda worked but...it's being...malevolent…”

_ God I need to work out more. Ten flights is overkill. _

The other Avengers began to stand as Mr Stark pulled up a hologram of the building and Maria made her way over to me. I shook my head and walked towards her, gesturing back at the wall. 

“They're coming up...through the-”

Something crashed into my back and I went sprawling into the air. I got a hand up to protect my head, grimacing as my knuckles smacked against the floor. Glass broke somewhere and I heard a shuffle of feet as the Avengers readied themselves. A hand rolled me over and I felt a familiar twinge in my leg as Maria helped me sit up. 

“What are we dealing with?”

“An AI. He calls himself Ultron,” I whispered. My leg throbbed and I doubled over, cursing. The broken robot corpses were flickering and taunting the Avengers. Maria threw my arm over her shoulder and I pushed myself up, watching Mr Stark set the building into lockdown and toss his control pad to the side.

“This might get messy,” Maria whispered, and I nodded, pulling out my firearm. Maria raised an eyebrow and I grinned sheepishly.

“You customized it?”

“Well I was allowed to design it,” I muttered, checking the magazine. I shifted my weight to my good leg and began to back away from the chit-chatting bots, pulling Maria with me. The Avengers could handle them. We had almost made it to the piano when the first one fired at Thor. It all went to shit from there. 

“Go!”

I ducked down behind the piano and Maria 

**

We were in a cot in a Quinjet, cuddled up. It wasn't the most spacious or most private setup-the door to our room had a window-but she was too tired to complain. Everyone knew already, and we weren't exactly going to...act indecent during an AI disaster. 

I listened to the engines and the wind, enjoying the slight rocking motion of the plane. 

Fury had forcibly dismissed Maria after she glued herself to a clipboard and headset, issuing order after order for nearly eleven hours straight. The Avengers were mobilized, and we were on our way to Europe. Exactly where in Europe, we don't know. Near a former Hydra base, a place of interest. 

“Hey.”

I opened my eyes. 

“I thought you were asleep.”

“Yeah, well,” she shifted, moving one of her arms to cover mine. “I’ll get some in a little while. I want to do this first.”

She pulled on my arm to turn me onto my back, one hand on the other side of me. I tried to make out her face but couldn't. Her hand cupped my face and slowly, carefully, she gave me a kiss. It was a few seconds, tender, and her hand stayed in that position until we broke apart. 

“Oh.” I laughed. “I thought you were a-”

A needle suddenly pierced my neck and I gasped. I couldn't see Maria’s face in the dark, and even as I squeezed her arms, she said nothing. My head was spinning and I knew I was going under. 

“Wh-why the...hell Mari…”

I didn't hear a response. 

**

I woke up suddenly and violently. 

“_Shit_-”

There was an edge to my right and I nearly slipped off of the couch. 

A woman came in and I put up my fists, swallowing. She didn't look very threatening, especially in an apron that was a bit too short from her belly, but I had learned to keep an eye out. 

“Who are you? Where are we?”

She held up her hands placatingly, edging a bit closer. 

“You're Kolta, right? Hill?”

“Yes, I-”

I paused. 

“Maria...she-you know her, right? What is this place, why am I here?”

She smiled wryly. 

“There's a war going on, and…they can't afford to leave the loved ones out in the open.”

“They...they who? SHIELD? How many people are here?”

“Just me and the kids,” she said, holding her belly, and I saw piles of toys and plates behind her. I lowered my fists, stretching as I looked around. 

**

A few days later, the Avengers showed up. I was stacking wood near the barn, immersed in making the best out of this. After wandering from the house and discovering there were no roads, no telephone poles or anything else for three miles in every direction, I resigned myself to wait. This wasn't permanent, I knew, and Maria would get me eventually. 

**

“Sir.”

“She’s understandably stressed, and worried that you're pissed off.”

“Like hell,” I growled, and he nodded. 

“Makes sense. Still, if you want, I have messages.”

He reached into his coat and pulled out a few envelopes. 

I walked back over to the house, nodding to Hawkeye and the others. 

The letters were ripped open in my room, the oldest first. It had an apology, 

**

Maria always hid her nerves well. I knew that from experience, but watching her be so...calm when picking me up…

It pissed me off. 

Widow and Hawkeye were getting a ride with us, and I knew she didn't want any kind of scene, but I couldn't help it. I saw all the tension in her shoulders, heard the inhale when I walked directly past her onto the ship. Now she was at the front, overseeing our course, and there were less people around. 

“You are _ deep _ in the fucking doghouse.”

Her shoulders sagged a bit. She slowly closed and opened her eyes, composing herself. 

“Hi, Kol.”

“Don't. I know we aren't going to talk about all this now, but what the actual _ hell _ was that? Shipping me off against my will?”

“Did you expect me to leave you unprotected? Kol, I-what was I su-”

“Well not _ that_,” I spat, crossing my arms. “Arm me, leave me at the safe house, literally anything other than _ kidnapping _ me and dropping me in the middle of nowhere!”

I slipped my ring off of my finger and held it up, meeting Maria’s widening eyes. 

“This is a promise, Mari,” I whispered. “Of love and trust and commitment. A promise that only holds if we’re _ together_.”

I turned away, too drained for this, and put the ring in my pocket. 

“K-Kolta, wait. Wait.”

I stopped walking and looked back at her. 

“What? What is it? Because I'm so tired of this right now, _ Commander_, and I'd like to just get back to my home.”

“What would you have done, then? If our positions were reversed, would you have just-just let me walk into a battle we both know I couldn't fight properly in? We were outmatched, Kol!”

I bared my teeth and fought the urge to stomp back up towards her. 

“I'm not doing this right now, and if you keep talking like that, then maybe I never will! I'm not the one who fucked up here, and while I get where it came from, I need you to just shut up and let me think. You should try it,” I snapped, and stormed into the hold without another word. 

**

The ride back from the former headquarters was dead silent. 

“Hey.”

Maria glanced back and I reached for her arm. 

“C’mere.”

She looked wary and exhausted, but listened. I pulled her against me, running a hand through her hair. Maria settled against my chest, bending her knees to bracket mine. It was silent for a while. 

“I love you.”

It was quiet and tenuous. 

“I love you too,” I murmured, “but that was dumb and I’m furious.”

“I'd rather you be alive and pissed than-”

“Dead and proud?”

“Kolta, this wasn't-these weren't agents or a strike team or anything else we’ve fought. This was an AI that was capable of accessing all kinds of information, power, of building copies of itself and getting past top levels of security.”

“And you went to fight it without me. Not just without me, which I get-but without any way for me to talk to you, to know you were _ okay _-what if you just never came to pick me up?”

“I wouldn't leave you there, it was a temporary-”

“And what if it wasn't, huh? The moment you knocked me out, I had no idea what to think. Three years, closer to four, of a partnership where I knew you had to keep secrets from me, but I still trusted you. But the moment you stuck me in the neck...it was that. _ That _ was-that broke my trust. What if you were just going to be gone when I woke up? What if you were acting on orders, and thought one thing was happening when in reality, they were going to kill me or something? What if you had just _ asked _, and we had talked? 

Maria was quiet, and I sat up. 

“And what if you just died? What if you fucking died, Maria? Without me knowing until afterwards, without me being there-”

“You were safe.”

“I was worried every goddamn second. I barely ate, I was so mad and-and fretful and just anxious that I scared Hawkeye’s kids, and I chewed all of my fingernails, and I-”

I put a hand over my eyes, breaking off. 

\----------------------------

After that, it was…calm. The Avengers weren't official anymore, even though the Sokovia Accords were in effect. Half of them went underground, others just didn't obey. 

Maria wrung her hands every time Captain America and Widow and Falcon appeared in the news. We moved to a different apartment, one not in SHIELD’s services. 

Bobbi went...I don't really know where. Things happened on a mission with Hydra and she showed up with a ghastly look. She was done.

We talked, and argued a bit, and eventually decided not to have any kids. I never felt too strongly about it, but Maria had wanted to adopt. She didn't want to give up work, however, and I knew from my time with Clint’s family that it was a difficult life. The idea of Maria tucking me and our child away in the face of danger fueled my arguments against it. The idea of our child being hurt sealed the deal. 

\---------------------------

I stiffened at the feeling of a muzzle against my side. Whoever had sat next to me was covered up, which was unfortunately inconspicuous in this cold weather. 

“Nice to see you, Hill.”

“May,” I breathed, afraid, relieved, and confused. “I thought we were on the same side.”

“We are. But your wife has been hard to get ahold of since our last meeting and I figured what better way to get her attention than this?”

I rolled my eyes, leaning back in my seat. 

“I'm flattered. How do you plan to do this? Force me to follow you somewhere? Or are you just going to take out my good leg, crash the bus, and wait?”

She arched an eyebrow at me and I relented. 

“Okay that's overkill, but-”

May grabbed my arm, leaning closer and discreetly pressing the barrel into my ribs. 

“Next stop is ours. It's a stun gun, so you won't be badly hurt, but you know you can't take me in a fight.”

“Don't I know. I thought attacking the weaker link was a move that was frowned upon in your mind.”

“Not anymore.”

I scoffed and winced as she tightened the grip on my arm to a vice. The gun slid into her pocket, but I knew it was still pointed at me. 

“Our stop. You gonna cooperate?”

I pulled myself out of the seat and turned, offering May a hand. 

“Might as well. No rush to get to work.”

**

I hadn't seen May since SHIELD really went under. 

“Hill.”

Maria turned quickly, muzzle pointing directly at May before she registered me. 

“Hi babe,” I said weakly. Maria sighed, lowering her weapon. 

“Really, May? Some people use these magical things called “phones” nowadays.”

“Not secure enough. I knew that you would run if we took out the people trailing you, and she’s just here to make sure you hear me out.”

“There are better ways to get me to listen than kidnap my wife,” Maria snapped, and May rolled her eyes. 

“Yes, but you guys are so lovey-dovey. Plus I thought maybe she’d like to know just what it is that you're dealing with right now.”

“Okay, “she” has a name, and is perfectly willing to just stand here and listen to you. And that's not the fear of being shot in the back talking.”

Maria crossed her arms and glared May down, and finally she scoffed. The gun disappeared from my back and I sighed, turning to face May. 

“So what is this about?”

**\---------------------------(Extras because...I can.)**

(Imagine this right after Kolta gets the bracelet.)

I slowly shut the door behind me, not turning to face her. 

“Agent Winders, what can I do for you?”

I gestured to the window and she raised a finger before pressing the button to soundproof the room. I was pretty sure no one noticed me slip into her office, but we agreed that whenever we got anything less than totally professional, we’d lock the office to be sure.

“Do you have any idea what this is?”

I hissed, pointing to my bracelet. 

“...a bracelet? I got it for you.”

I dropped into one of her chairs, shaking my head furiously. 

“Maria, it's a _ submission band_. As in a _ BDSM chain marker _ for a submissive partner!”

Maria looked at me for a moment before her face flushed red and she covered her mouth. 

“You're kidding.”

“No! I just looked it up because a bunch of the guys were snickering at me and now I know why.”

Maria nodded, 

“Do you want to keep it?”  
“I-I don’t…know...”

“I mean...it’s true.”

I crossed my arms indignantly, sinking down in the chair. 

_ I mean, it is, but...that’s not... _

“You don’t have to, of course. I can return it or you could just...not wear it?”

I eyed her carefully.

“Would you...I mean, if I...wore it...when it was just us two...occasionally...then...maybe,” I mumbled. Maria propped her chin up on her hands, looking me over.

“So, does that-”

Someone knocked on the door and I shot up out of the chair.

“Talk later?”

“Yeah. See you at home.”

Maria disabled the security barrier and I opened the door, nodding once to the official and then slipping away.

\----------------------------

“Um, what is…”

“I’m-I believe the term is ‘packing’.”

“I just, um...haven't ever...with…”

“Would you rather wear it?”

I opened and closed my mouth, the new images just as appealing as the other ones. 

“Well-I mean, I don't really know how to-and-but-”

I made a vague gesture and she smiled. 

“I could use it as a better opportunity to teach you.”

“T-teach me.”

“Yep,” she said, pushing my shoulders back so I would lie down. 

“You could just sit here and let me ride you.”

I felt the words hit my head and slip down my spine, my neck going slack. 

“That-um-that would...er, be, uh...th-that-”

Maria popped open a small bottle from the nightstand as I ran my fingers over this new appendage, taking it in. Her hand covered mine and I pulled back to let her cover it with motions that -I think- would look much like a regular handjob. 

“Are you-you good?”

“Give me a second. It's been a while,” Maria said, a bit of strain in her voice. I nodded and rubbed her arms, staying still as she shifted. 

\----------------------------

The spaceship appeared while Maria was out with Nick. They had been concocting plans and collecting intel for a solid two years, and I no longer called him Director Fury. 

“You see it, right?”

“Yup. We’re driving back up from Boston, should be there in a few hours.”

\----------------------------

**(Warning-this one contains non-graphic attempted rape. Do not read if you are sensitive to that. There's a bit of violence and blood though, so be careful.)**

They took us by surprise. We had started hearing the commotion from upstairs and locked down, but we weren't prepared. HYDRA’s sleeper agents turned on us and mercenaries broke through our blockade. We had to surrender. 

I yelped as I was shoved through the door and onto the floor, twisting to avoid smacking my head on the concrete. I tried to sit up but was forced down when one of the mercenaries placed his foot on my back. His hand grabbed my hair and yanked my face up, and my blood went cold. 

Maria was sitting in front of me, alive but looking much worse for wear. She briefly met my gaze and then looked away, feigning disinterest. 

“Wondering why you were invited to the party?

I ignored him and spared a glance over to my side. The staff head was bleeding and unconscious in a chair to my other side, and by his feet lay Bobbi, who was trying to shimmy out of her bonds. A handful of other agents were bound and bleeding behind them, guarded by a taller mercenary man. 

This wasn't good. 

“I asked you a question, girl!” He pushed my head down into the floor and I grunted as my forehead smashed into the concrete. 

“Do...tell,” I managed, closing my eyes against the headache. 

“Finally, she cooperates. See, we've been trying to get stuff out of your boss for a few hours now, but she’s very tough. Threatened her in almost every way possible, and nothing. Even shot a few agents. Nothing.”

I bit my tongue as he laughed callously, gesturing towards a pair of lifeless bodies in the corner. 

“So, we looked in your database and found out that one of your directors _ does _ have an exploitable weakness. Care to guess what it is?”

I swallowed as I heard a knife unfold, staring resolutely at the ground. He dug the point into my shoulder and I simply clenched my fists and tried to pull away. He held me down and yanked on the knife, and I had to suppress a yell as I felt it tear through my shirt and across my back. 

“Just remember, this stops when you say.”

I saw Maria’s legs twitch and tried to look up at her, but the hand on my head prevented me from moving. I gasped when he slashed across the back of my arm, then again. And again and again and finally the sound of blood splattering across the floor was as loud as my heartbeat. He was making a lot of long cuts, drawing blood and stinging but not life-threatening. I had broken the skin of my lip from biting it and was only successful in not crying out about half the time. Struggling would only provoke them, I knew, so I just made myself as small and tense as possible. 

I took a breath as he said something to his friend in code, pressing my head against the ground for stability as my stomach rolled. 

“Not enough reaction. Mm. Perhaps something else?”

And suddenly his hands were all over my back and his hips were up against my thighs and his breath was in my ear. I felt a new terror run down my spine and struck out, landing an elbow in his stomach. I tried to scramble away but the taller man quickly stepped forwards and grabbed me, shaking me roughly when I swung my bloody, bound hands at him. 

“Oh, look at who’s suddenly uncomfortable…”

I shook my head fiercely, vainly trying to push myself away. I cursed my reactions. 

“Don't.”

I swiveled to look at Maria, who looked like she was contemplating snapping the interrogator’s neck. 

“Maria, don't you da-”

The taller man smacked me across the face with the butt of his gun and I collapsed, cradling my nose in my shoulder. The gashes on my back burned with pain from the movement and I could feel blood seeping into my pants. I saw Bobbi twitch and realized that most of the previously unconscious agents had been awakened by my screams. 

“Aw, how precious.”

I thrashed as he loomed over me but to no avail. He sat on my legs and shoved me down, knife in hand. I cried out as my bad leg twinged and his hands pinned my shoulders to the ground, my arms twisted awkwardly underneath me. The ground pulled at my wounds and the fabric of my shirt and I felt the urge to vomit. The knife bore down by my throat and I pulled away, but he began cutting into the front of my shirt. The blade reached the top of my bra and my stomach lurched with fear. 

“You can stop this,” the man taunted, looking up at Maria. 

I could see Maria digging her shaking fingers into the chair and staring at the blood smeared on the floor, but I shot her as strong of a look as I could. I was shaking and my vision was blurring from some combo of terror and disbelief, but I cou-

Shots rang out and the interrogator swiveled to look at the door. Two armored agents rounded the corner and instantly took out the taller man, and the interrogator ducked behind a column. One of the agents kneeled and spoke into his radio as the other advanced slowly. I was blinking quickly, still processing the last few minutes.

Backup appeared quickly and Fury was with them. I felt the adrenaline wearing off as bindings were cut and the area cleared. I pulled my shirt closed and sat up, shaking and wiping at my eyes. The interrogator fell with a shot to the head and I felt myself breathe again. Maria was on me in an instant, shaking hands on my shoulders while she looked me over. 

“She needs medical attention for the cuts on her back and arms, and maybe shock treatment-baby, are you okay? I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I don't know how he knew, my records don't mention you, they shouldn’t have known…”

I nodded, pulling her closer. 

“I’ll-it's-I'll be fine, Maria,” I muttered, bringing one arm over my chest as the other pulled her as close as possible. I knew she could feel my shaking and that people were looking, shocked. I didn't care much, I just needed to have her close. Tears were appearing all over her front and I whimpered slightly as my close call really sunk in. She planted a soft kiss on my temple and rubbed my shoulders, leaning away as the medic showed up. I could feel the wounds on my back seeping slowly, and knew I would have to thoroughly clean them for grime and fabric. Bobbi was up in the next moment, guiding me to lay down. I shook my head when the man asked if I could remove my shirt and Bobbi whispered to him until he nodded. Someone called over to Maria and she barely glanced at him before turning back to me, pressing kisses to my knuckles. 

“It's okay. I'll be okay. Go.” 

She bit her lip and nodded, quickly wiping at her eyes. Maria cradled my head and pressed a kiss to my temple, mumbling nonsense before forcing herself up. It didn't take too long for the medic to treat me and I had felt worse before, but they both insisted I stay down with a shock blanket instead of helping with the HYDRA search. Bobbi stayed with me and began wiping my face and arms with a towel, trying to soothe me. She had borrowed a gun from one of the soldiers but denied me one. 

“Bobbi...I may have to fight, stop coddling me…”

“No, right now you have to relax. Sleep, if possible.”

“But HYDRA…”

“Is going to be exterminated by your wife, and she'll kill me next if I don't take care of you, so _ relax _.”

**

I took a deep breath, toying with the edge of the pillow. After the whole debacle of the crashes and HYDRA, we had gotten a few days off. Maria wordlessly commandeered a car and took us back to the safe house, refusing to let me do anything except for take a bath, eat, and lay down. The bath had been almost red from all the wounds between the two of us, but we had cleaned and sealed all of them.

“I think...most of them shouldn't scar. It's just these…” 

Her hands trailed up two of the deeper wounds and I shuddered, going stiff. It had been about two days since they were made, and I could feel every ridge. 

“Sorry.”

“No, don't be. That's the point of this, I...I would like you to look. To touch. I don't want it...just being me who knows about them.”

“Scars aren't anything to be ashamed of.”

Her nail caught on some of the scar tissue and I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to push away the memory of sudden, sharp strokes along my back. 

“I know. These ones are just...fresh.”

“Okay. May I trace the others?” 

I nodded and soon her fingers were dancing across my back, tracing older scars alongside the new ones. Most of those were small and old. The only one that held a candle to the new ones was the one I got as a kid in my first surgery. 

“I think you still look wonderful.”

I blushed. 

“Shut up. You have to say that, you're stuck with me.”

“I know, it's _ such _ a tragedy.”

I giggled as her lips found my jaw and my ear, then down my neck and across my collarbone. She sat up and hovered over me, and it wasn't until her hand came to rest on my thigh that I flinched. 

“I, um, could-” 

I fumbled for her hand and she nodded at my signal, shifting back a bit and placing her hands in her lap. I blinked hard, trying to clear the memories of a looming body out of my mind. 

“I just...don't think I can…”

“It's okay. I...if you'd let me, I eventually want to try and help cover that memory up. But you don't ever have to do anything you don't want. And I mean _ ever _.”

I smiled and tugged on her wrist, pulling her closer. 

“A kiss is fine.”

She grinned, running her fingers through my hair. 

“Good enough for me.”

\---------------------

“Tough workout?”

I didn't jump this time, instead continuing my bench reps. 

“Of course, Commander. Wouldn't do me any good to go easy.”

“Hope you aren't straining that back of yours. Need all my agents, even those who aren't active combat, ready to fight.”

I cocked an eyebrow, setting the bar down and sitting up. 

“With all due respect, ma’am, I'm not really trained in hand-to-hand, nor do I have time with my technological duties.”

Her eyes flashed and I saw a few passerby scurry away as her spine straightened. 

“We’ll see about that.”

**

I ducked the kick and backed away, but not quite fast enough. Her arms wrapped around my waist and I groaned as I was slammed back down onto the mat for the fifteenth or sixteenth time this hour. 

“Please...Maria...I’m really gonna pass out and you'll have to drag me back home…” I panted, watching her clamber off of me. 

“Figure out how to stop me and we'll go home.”

“God, it’s nearly midnight. Please? I'll make dinner, I'll take the trash out, I'll even-”

I paused and flushed as I realized we were still at work. 

“What was that?”

“Nothing. I said nothing but promised to do all possible chores when we get home, _ if _ we get home.”

Maria cocked her head, crouching down over my legs. 

“I only want one thing. Then we can go home.”

“Yes. Sure. Of course. What?”

She knelt, legs on either side of mine and hair parted off to the side. I felt my back stiffen as she placed her hands on the floor by my hips, way too close to look friendly if anyone came in. 

“Talk to me.”

I sighed. 

“Maria…”

“I want you to know I'm not going to force you. And you don't have to give me details or pretend I'm a therapist, but...I want to know how you feel about intimacy now. I understand abstaining and I _ respect _ it, I do. I just...need to _ know _.”

I placed my hands over hers and pressed a kiss to her cheek. 

“I...think I'll be okay. It was a close call, but it wasn't really...all the way. I mean, it's...I don't want it to be me first. I-I think...having a you night would help. Maybe not, you know, today, but soon. I wouldn't get as skittish that way, but it would still be…”

“Sexual.”

“Yeah.”

She smiled at me, wrapping her arms around my shoulders. Her gentle side was the side I admired the most. It was rarely seen by others, and I always felt privileged that she felt like she could relax with me, be exposed with me. 

“Let's go home, then.”

**Author's Note:**

> I am not dead or retiring from this site  
My spacebar is acting up and my N key requires actual force to be used  
I will work on and hopefully finish most of the stories I have. This is the plan but the plan was also to join the military at one point and that's a big no for now so we'll see.


End file.
